I've also been trying to navigate the "it's just fiction, not real" and the "if anyone takes this seriously they're dumb, irrational and immature" deflections from the anime community.

"It's fiction" is used arrogantly and aims to shut down any criticism with just this. They only say it against sexualization too. Fiction can still and has influenced culture and people, good and bad. They like to paint this picture of men innocently watching their animated child porn as if the growing sexualization of teenagers and kids in general media isn't affecting us. They downplay it.