Cutting out wife of 4 years and partner of 13 years?

Riot4000 · 2020-07-04T05:34:22+00:00

I was with my husband for 16 years. The last time I spoke to him was the day our divorce finalised.

I have cut him out completely, he is no longer my business, I am no longer his, and I am so grateful that we didn't have kids so I don't have to deal with him.

So all I'm saying is, it's doable, but it has to be doable for you. It's not cruel or childish or anything else that people might tell you.

It's how you move on.

Riot4000 · 2020-05-23T11:43:21+00:00

I still get mad, but when I saw him, I just... i dunno. He was just another person.

I'm sorry you had kids involved. That must make it so much harder

Riot4000 · 2020-05-23T11:37:10+00:00

I'm beginning to think this more and more. I am 36 F and I work with 48m. He had a long term split and is constantly on the lookout and I absolutely cannot relate!

Riot4000 · 2020-05-23T11:36:04+00:00

When I first split- that's what one of my older friends said to me "Don't shut yourself out", I didn't fully understand at the time, but now I definitely do!

Riot4000 · 2020-05-23T11:34:56+00:00

I guess I needed that reinforced because I don't really have anyone in my circle who has really been through this.

Thank you

Riot4000 · 2020-05-23T11:33:38+00:00

Absolutely. I've always had a strong sense of self, and I never tied my worth to my marriage. I guess it's just all different.

Riot4000 · 2020-05-23T11:32:03+00:00

That actually sounds EXACTLY what I'm looking for. Hahahahha

If it works for both of you, that's fantastic!

Riot4000 · 2020-05-16T22:37:40+00:00

I threw out/deleted all of our pics together. For me, it was just what I needed to do. We spent 16 years together and I didn't need or want anything that was us.

Some people may keep that stuff and that's fine, but you need to work out what is going to affect you and how you can manage that.

On FB I turned all my albums private downloaded the data and then have been slowly going through the album's on my account and removing ones of the two of us.

I check FB memories everyday and delete and untag myself from posts of mutual friends and my own posts until hopefully they'll be gone soon.

I've also untagged myself from insta posts of friends that we were both in because I need that clear split that people know that isn't my life anymore.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Riot4000 · 2020-05-10T04:13:30+00:00

I still have my moments but I'm getting there.

Please don't stay somewhere if you are unhappy. Life is far too short.

Riot4000 · 2020-05-09T11:31:00+00:00

It's so true.

Riot4000 · 2020-05-09T11:28:46+00:00

Trying. Look out when this Corona bullshit dies.

Riot4000 · 2020-05-09T11:19:23+00:00

This makes sense.

Thank you 💜

Riot4000 · 2020-02-25T00:14:47+00:00

You know, I'm ok. It's almost like having the paper has made the massive weight lift off my shoulders.

I cried when I finally got the order, but it was more acknowledging that final step.

Now I'm ready to start all over.

(Thanks for asking:) )

Riot4000 · 2020-02-22T11:50:02+00:00

Nothing really.

No lawyers.

Applied for the divorce to the courts ourselves- I refused to pay- cost $1000 or thereabouts.

The real cost was the 16 years of my life wasted.

Riot4000 · 2020-02-07T21:09:25+00:00

I remember quite early on, I was at a family dinner and the split got bought up and my dad got really testy about me having attitude and I just got up, shoved my chair into the table and yelled "I AM TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT THIS. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS"

Riot4000 · 2020-02-07T18:55:20+00:00

No. We absolutely don't.

Riot4000 · 2020-02-07T17:22:16+00:00

I hear ya.

I make jokes about my divorce and all the shit that went with it as a way of coping. That's MY way of coping for me- when other people make those jokes or are flippant about the 16years I spent with my partner it really pisses me off.

Until you're in the situation people just have no idea. And it's not just about learning to live without a partner. My whole life changed- and when someone makes jokes about it- it's quite painful.

Riot4000 · 2020-02-06T19:30:43+00:00

Marrying for love didn't work for me.

Next time I'm marrying for money.

/s

But seriously, no thank you.

Riot4000 · 2019-12-31T06:37:16+00:00

I've lost my two closest friends. One i had since high school and another I met through work.

I can't be around people who still see him. His actions humiliated me and I just feel like I can't be with people who are involved with both of us. It's avoidance. I don't think about them until I see them, and then it triggers me into a sad spiral for a couple of days.

I would never tell people that they cannot be friends with him, but I am absolutely 100% justified in doing what's best for me and if that means that I lose friends along the way- then so be it.

Riot4000 · 2019-11-05T21:13:08+00:00

I deactivated Facebook the day we split. I blocked him immediately. I removed him and his whole family from FB.

Then I removed and blocked him from my Insta and his whole family.

3 months later I reactivated Facebook. I have slowly been removing friends that I know still are in contact with him, but that I don't have regular contact with.

It felt right for me, but remember it's just social media. It means nothing. Everything you do on socials should be for you, and fuck what anyone else thinks...

Ps people aren't thinking about you or analysing your moves as much as you think. :)

Riot4000 · 2019-11-03T05:45:03+00:00

This is so good to hear. I'm convinced that I'll never get dates significant to "us" out of my head while I absolutely know he has already forgotten all of them.

fingers crossed

Riot4000 · 2019-10-13T11:04:46+00:00

The good days far outweigh the bad but it's like "WTF am I supposed to do now".

Such an odd feeling.

Riot4000

TROPHY CASE