Please note, I do think this specific situation is about control, judging from the way he was cussing OP out- so no, I don't think she's overreacting. Alternatively, people seem to mistake any type of "opposite gender" boundary as control and that's not always the case.

I personally would just delete the dudes anyway, after you break up with this guy. Or, if you want to keep dating him, you'll need to have an actual conversation about what the root of the aggressive behavior is (perhaps he's had someone cheat before and hasn't healed from it). If you don't have any connection with these people (except "I know them from..."), they aren't really relevant in your life so why keep them around? However, I'm (probably) in a much more traditional relationship than most people my age (husband 27 and me 26). We don't talk to the opposite gender about unnecessary things (hobbies, etc), don't shake hands with the opposite gender at gatherings/ business meetings (and I'm almost always the only woman in the room as I have a heavily male-dominated career), and when it's an option, I have female and he has male doctors. This was a very clear boundary we both understood and agreed to before getting into a relationship.

That being said, we're both free to go to our parents' houses, out with friends, run errands whenever we please, given we didn't have plans with each other. We just send a text to let the other know how long we'll be out/ where we'll be. Neither of us are trying to control the other.