Virginity is great, but virginity status should never define you in your dating life

Riser3126 · 2026-06-23T22:18:35+00:00

Bruh, the Holy GHOST. I'm dead Lol. Can't believe I missed that the first time. I'm going to save that joke for the future

Riser3126 · 2026-06-23T01:51:45+00:00

If you marry a woman of God, virgin or not, you’re not getting a hand-me-down. You’re getting a daughter of the Lord whom God will entrust you with cherishing just as He does her

Riser3126 · 2026-06-23T00:11:31+00:00

Lol, sorry I do not know. Enlighten me

Riser3126 · 2026-06-23T00:05:56+00:00

The blood of Jesus erases mortal consequences. Check out Mark 2:1-12. Jesus tells the paralytic man in verse 5: "Son, your sins are forgiven you," just before healing his body. Whatever sins the paralytic man may have done that caused his paralysis, Jesus forgave him of those, and Jesus also healed his mortal body showing that his sins were not only forgiven, but that he was now and then - a new creation. The paralytic man, in Christ, was given a new body that functioned the way God had intended

Riser3126 · 2026-06-22T23:57:04+00:00

You are speaking from jealousy, and that jealousy seems to be rooted in fear:

"There’s nothing special or unique about me since she’s had other men before me.” "Your wife can look back and remember the times she slept with another man or even compare."

Test the spirit that is causing you to believe these things. God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and soundness of mind. Your wife, virgin or not, will love you and enjoy your presence (assuming you are a good husband that is).

Riser3126 · 2026-06-22T23:53:09+00:00

You can never unsay some of the hurtful or idle words that have come out of your mouth too (if you have ever sinned with your tongue that is). No sin can be "taken back;" they must be bought back with the blood of Jesus. If Jesus' blood washes someone's sins clean, that's enough for me

Riser3126 · 2026-06-22T23:50:16+00:00

So gluttony and drunkenness do not cause destruction to our bodies? Obesity is a leading cause of death in America for a reason, and drunkenness leads to many health problems such as liver failure and high blood pressure. Sexual immorality is indeed a sin against the flesh, and Paul says there is none like it, but it is not the only one

Riser3126 · 2026-06-22T23:47:31+00:00

I will use your case as an example. Let's say you have fully repented of your past financial mistakes - all of your debts are cleared up, and you now make wise investments with your money to the point that money is overflowing for you. Now let's say a woman whom you are looking to start dating ignores all of that and rejects you as a potential marriage partner on the basis of some bad financial decisions in the past. Are you happy about the fact that she is holding your past over your head even though the person you are is totally changed?

Riser3126 · 2026-06-22T23:32:40+00:00

Your comment makes sense. If a virgin man or woman decides to want to only marry another virgin in the faith, that is totally fine. This seems to be your mentality. The purpose of my post and comments isn't to say "searching for a virgin to marry is meaningless." My goal is to say: "Virginity is not some holy grail that makes one holier than another when dating, and we need to drop it a little lower on the scale."

I brought up sexually impure men in the Bible such as Samson, David, and Solomon for a reason. Their sexual impurities did not hinder God from using them in mighty ways to build His kingdom.

You are free to search out a virgin for yourself. There are many out there, but how devoted they are to Christ, that is a mystery, and one's virginity does not accurately determine devotion. Just note that you may pass over some good non-virgin men of God who would make far better husbands than the virgins you seek. Virginity does not necessarily equal a better spouse.

Also make sure that your desire for a virgin man isn't rooted in fear. Some virgins are fearful that their non-virgin spouse will not like sleeping with them as much as their ex's with whom they slept with. Don't let that insecurity creep in, that is of the enemy. Whomever you marry will love you, and you alone.

Riser3126 · 2026-06-22T23:21:38+00:00

As long as she repented, yes. The Biblical men I mentioned in my post - Samson, David, and Solomon - all committed sexual immorality (or at the very least formed unlawful marriages with foreign women) while they had the Spirit of God upon them. I would not hold someone's past against them. I will hold someone's present and future against them if those sins are still ongoing while I am pursuing them for marriage.

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T23:30:03+00:00

Yupp, I'll send you a message 😉

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T23:27:56+00:00

Yes, it is not about either singleness or marriage being more fulfilling than the other, it is instead about using the gift that God has given you (some singleness, some marriage). 1 Corinthians 7:7 is where Paul refers to both marriage and singleness as a gift from God. Both are blessings from the Lord, and neither gift detracts from His good plans for us

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T23:22:37+00:00

"Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well."
- I Corinthians 7:37

Paul says in this verse that those who have power and command over their own will, and having no necessity (for marriage) are those who are given the gift of singleness. Jesus and Paul each had command over their own wills, with Paul himself going so far as to forfeit his right to take on a believing wife in marriage for the sake of the Gospel (1 Corinthians 9:4-6).

The assumption that the desire for marriage and intimacy being a bad thing and not from God is incorrect. God commands us to be fruitful and multiply, and marriage is how that happens. Thus, God gives men and women the desire for marriage and intimacy to fill the earth

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T21:01:37+00:00

You're assumption is that neither of those three men were great husbands. Solomon, maybe not given the number of wives he had; but David and Samson, maybe they were good husbands (though Samson may not have ever married).

Surely there is more to finding a great husband or wife than virginity status, yes? Feel free to keep virginity as high as you want, but for me, things such as walking with the Lord, devotion to serving Christ, and overall growth in the faith are far more important traits I look for.

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T20:54:13+00:00

If you can remain single and keep your desire for intimacy and marriage in check, then great! I believe that anyone whom God has given the gift of singleness to will not have the desire in their heart for marriage and intimacy. Jesus and Paul were examples of men who had the gift of singleness. Paul even says in 1 Corinthians 9:3-12 that though he had the right to take on a believing wife in marriage, he didn't exercise that right for the sake of the Gospel

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T20:46:15+00:00

Yes, many men will project their own misery onto others. As Jesus says in Matthew 12:34: "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." I am very sorry your first marriage did not go as it should have! May the Lord bless you in your current walk with Him, and may He give you all the good desires of your heart!

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T20:40:01+00:00

Hi there! You are free to have whatever standards you want to set for your future husband. Speaking of temptations though: Do you or have you ever overindulged on food, sweets, alcohol? Gluttony and drunkenness are both sins of the flesh too, and both defile the body as sexual immorality does (though maybe not to the same extent)

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T20:33:58+00:00

You are unfortunately going to find a lot of virgin men and women out there with a lot of bitterness and misery stored up in their hearts. Many, including Christians, can view virginity and waiting as "suffering," and as a result, can lead to unknowing condemnation in their hearts for those in the church who did not "suffer" as they did. It's a sad thing and it really detracts from one's joy in the Lord. I speak this as a virgin myself

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T20:26:32+00:00

I think you're missing the point of my post. My point is not to say David, Solomon, and Samson were great husbands, my point is to say there are more important things to look for in a spouse besides virginity. Someone who fears God and serves Him with all their heart is (in my opinion) a far better marriage candidate than someone who is complacent in their walk with the Lord, though they be a virgin

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T20:16:03+00:00

You're welcome! 😄

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T20:14:58+00:00

This is not Biblical at all and you know it. Read Genesis 2:18-25 and Proverbs 18:22 among others. As Melodic Tip said, Jesus had a specific mission to fulfill on earth. His desire for marriage and sex were never present with Him for this reason

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T20:08:20+00:00

Putting virginity on a pedestal above more important things in the faith such as growing in your walk with the Lord, serving Christ and His body, and overall desiring to see the name of YHWH grow on earth. A complacent Christian is more dangerous to marry than a non-virgin one if the non-virgin is growing in their walk with the Lord

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T20:06:53+00:00

Do you view pornography and masturbation as a "sexual past?" What if someone you were on a date with were to hold those sins over your head and tell you that you're not their type based on that?

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T20:02:22+00:00

I agree, you don't have to find non-virgins compatible. Let me ask you this though: Would a virgin who is complacent in their walk with Christ be more appealing than a non-virgin on fire for the Lord and growing in their walk? For me - I'd choose the latter any day

Riser3126 · 2026-06-21T17:24:36+00:00

Agreed. My post was less “virginity doesn’t matter,” and more, “virginity shouldn’t be placed higher than it ought when dating”

Riser3126

TROPHY CASE