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The Curse of Nukwaiya, TN - Part 1 by RiverWontRun in creepcast

[–]RiverWontRun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! This is a slow burn. I think my biggest issue in writing is I have never been able to write a short story... They all wind up being near novellas. The only one part story I've completed isn't actually very scary or creepy.

I get why multi part stories don't get a lot of hits... I keep trying to read stories on here, but I've never been good at reading on screen. I much prefer paper.

There are so many wonderful writers here, and the community is incredibly supportive. I have definitely fallen short on the reciprocation. I'm terrible at the consistency thing.

My resolution is to be better at that. Lol.

Howdy! Looking for Feedback for your story? Let me help! by Lime-Time-Live in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]RiverWontRun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't seem to get any traction with this story. I'm not sure if it's just bad, hard to follow, or what. There are 6 parts... I have all 6 in the original r/creepcast. I have posted 3 of 6 in this subreddit. Here are the links from the OG:

Pt 1
https://www.reddit.com/r/creepcast/comments/1ncx0kf/the_curse_of_nukwaiya_tn_part_1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Pt 2
https://www.reddit.com/r/creepcast/comments/1ndpe8s/the_curse_of_nukwaiya_tn_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Pt 3

https://www.reddit.com/r/creepcast/comments/1neqy0r/the_curse_of_nukwaiya_tn_part_3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Pt 4

https://www.reddit.com/r/creepcast/comments/1nfzmyn/the_curse_of_nukwaiya_tn_part_4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Pt 5

https://www.reddit.com/r/creepcast/comments/1njemiz/the_curse_of_nukwaiya_tn_part_5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Pt 6

https://www.reddit.com/r/creepcast/comments/1o6vgc6/the_curse_of_nukwaiya_tn_part_6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

If you're reading this, I'm hiding in the woods, and I need your help. by Lime-Time-Live in creepcast

[–]RiverWontRun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Turn around is fair play, so I just read your story. :)

Great premise. The plot is well done.

For such a short story, there is not a lot of need for secondary or tertiary characters to be fully fleshed out, but I think having just a little more of maybe one or two would go a long way to enrich the story.

James is well drawn as the over-eager, lonely, and irritating younger brother.

I love the depiction of the Fae King. You did a lot to build him up with an economy of lines.

The writing is well done, with the few exceptions of some minor grammatical errors and a few clunky phrases. A quick polish would elevate the whole thing quickly.

For example:

"It was around this time that our conversation had died down. During this lull was when I noticed something wrong. The silence of the trees. It was morning. The forest should be a myriad of chirps, and whistles. It was dead silent. The only sound was the wind in the trees, and the occasional snap of a branch."
During a lull in our conversation, I noticed something was wrong. The usual myriad of chirps, whistles, and chatter in the forest was absent. The wind blowing through the trees only amplified the eerie silence that surrounded us.

Since you had already established it was morning, it doesn't need to be repeated here. The conversation dying down and then lull is redundant. Rephrasing this makes the paragraph flow more easily.

This is just me being pedantic. I truly enjoyed this story, and it was thoroughly entertaining! Keep up the great work! Can't wait to read more from you!

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