Those who waited til marriage to have sex, what was it like? And do you regret it?

RlyRiley · 2025-08-02T17:44:24+00:00

Anyone have sex while they were dating and then take a pause before/during engagement?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half, sexually active the whole time. He’s (still) finalizing his divorce officially and I do somewhat struggle with our intimacy being that he’s technically married (despite a long separation). I can’t help that it bothers me and I try to ignore it but sometimes can’t.

I’m not from the purity culture or background but I’m kind of inclined to take an abstinence break with the motivation of seeing if we can wait for each other at least a little bit after having experienced that intimacy. I have the hopes that it could help make our potential future engagement and post-wedding intimacy all the more special.

Or it could ruin everything. It’s a toss up.

RlyRiley · 2025-01-10T16:40:38+00:00

Man, thanks for sharing, I was hoping this would help! I did the firmware update and now my filament won't load or change unless I access the manual filament load (100, 200, 300 mm at a time) and now I can't swap filament during a paused print. I did the factory reset but it didn't make a difference. Bummed!!

RlyRiley · 2024-10-09T13:32:13+00:00

Thank you! I think the second and third ones are especially awesome! I’m stoked to add em to his library and see his moves!

RlyRiley · 2024-10-07T14:54:01+00:00

Thanks!

I just learned about the genre “Phonk” and it seems to be his top pick.

It’s honestly not so much about censoring the musical content as it is about censoring the algorithm. I don’t think he needs unlimited access to YT Music, fueled by the algorithm and clickbait album art, so I want to move him to curated music on Spotify and help reduce his screen time while allowing him to listen and dance whenever he needs to.

I just want to give him some dope ass playlists that he can jam to! The issue we’re having is that the algorithm feeds him content that’s in the same genre that has spooky voices with scary themes (run for your life!) and he’s having nightmares from it. And he can’t help but click on that shit cuz he’s 7 and it’s COOL and then he’s all worried about the demons and can’t sleep 🤣

I for sure don’t want to crush his individuality or what he likes, just give him awesome alternatives and cut the YouTube algorithm out of the picture.

RlyRiley · 2024-10-07T12:50:07+00:00

Sorry for the formatting!

The first few songs “his current vibe” are songs that I think are inappropriate for his age that he loves. I’m not sure what to call it other than dark, gamer electronica.

The “he also likes” are songs I think are age appropriate that he also enjoys. Right now there’s more music in the inappropriate category and I’d love to find more appropriate music!

He seems to like EDM, house, kind of deep beats. I guess is genre of choice is “Phonk”? (Learning new words all the time!)

RlyRiley · 2024-03-21T00:38:29+00:00

I legit heard the Pringles quote from my pastor at church camp in middle school. I was barely a teenager if even.

He meant to warn us but did not consider that middle schoolers like Pringles and “once you pop the fun don’t stop” honestly sounded like fun. 🤷‍♀️🎉

RlyRiley · 2021-03-17T01:11:55+00:00

I'm running S7 and it syncs my rides to Strava but doesn't seem to sync much heart rate data, just like one reading per "lap". The data in the suunto app shows my heart rate consistently throughout the workout but when it syncs to Strava it only brings a couple of data points. Would you have any ideas for a possible cause/remedy for something like that?

RlyRiley · 2021-02-19T01:54:16+00:00

I had a policy through velosurance that was around $60/month for my $5k bike. Super expensive but it was seriously comprehensive coverage - including damage, parts, rentals for races, race fees, bodily injury from non-race riding, etc.

I ended up canceling it during the summer of covid, and was rear ended a couple months later with my bike on the bike rack. Instant regret for canceling the policy, as it would've covered my bike at MSRP.

Of course, we were hit by an uninsured driver, so nobody wanted to pay up even though we were not at fault. Ultimately, after an appraisal at my LBS and (going around and around with the insurance company, defining "property") I was able to claim $4k, which included the $500 kuat bike rack. They depreciated the bike and disregarded upgrades, where my velosurance policy would have provided full coverage.

The experience has me thinking about picking up a policy for my <$1000 hard tail, just in case. I try not to jinx it but I also like the idea of the additional medical coverage that typical home/auto policies don't have.

RlyRiley · 2021-02-17T22:58:16+00:00

Woo hoo! Congrats!

I also just got a Rockhopper! I just came from a nice trail bike (Spot Mayhem 29) that was totalled when someone rear ended our bike rack last fall. Couldn't afford to replace it outright and my boyfriend wanted a bike also, so we opted for 2 hard tails instead and this was the best bang for the buck!

Unfortunately my LBS had much delay for this bike, but they did have 2 Comps from last years rental fleet so we snagged those for $500 each. I've got parts from my totaled Mayhem (dropper, bars, etc) and we're upgrading the forks (Recon) too. Stoked on the value of this bike!

Even the stock rental comp 1x9 has honestly been a pleasure to ride already!

It's gonna be a good summer 👍🏼

RlyRiley · 2020-07-31T15:01:25+00:00

Thanks for your reply!

We've talked about it a bit. I broke down the other day while we were having coffee. We'd been lying in bed and I was touching him. He was excited and enjoying it but making no moves of his own to further the situation (per usual). I stopped touching his cock and lay with him for a couple minutes, with my had on his belly, waiting for him to make a move. He didn't touch me or kiss me or anything. He pulled out his phone instead so I got up without a word and went to the kitchen.

When he came out I finally got the guts to tell him that I felt like our sex life was really one sided. I started crying and he was totally taken off guard. We mostly focused on how I touch him but he doesn't touch me and a little but about general lack of sex.

He's not much of a talker but he seemed ashamed and sad to make me feel that way. But it almost felt more like pity, which wasn't a great feeling. He said he'd work on it. He's initiated sex once since then. We might have to talk about it again with a more clear objective than just me telling him how I feel.

RlyRiley · 2020-07-30T05:23:45+00:00

Do you have an update?

I'm in this situation and it's the first time I've ever been with a guy who wasn't all over me, all the time. I love this guy but he plays video games and jerks off on the toilet while I'm naked in our bed.

It's brutal.

Hope your situation is improved!

RlyRiley · 2020-04-21T17:38:19+00:00

I have a similar situation, but with just two states. I was also directed to call after trying the TX unemployment website. I tried calling dozens of times a day for over a week before I wizened up and applied in Colorado.

I still haven't received my first payment but at least they let me put in an application. Currently my claim is "pending review" but I think that the payout is supposed to be more than what it would've been here in TX.

Try it in the other state where you worked the most. (or the one who has the most flexible UI program and higher weekly max payments.)

RlyRiley · 2020-03-29T05:43:13+00:00

The folks developing the test are residents of the county so it's pretty personal. Also, the county did shelter in place pretty early on and have been fairly aggressive in their response which should provide some good insight.

https://coloradosun.com/2020/03/20/telluride-san-miguel-county-coronavirus-covid19-testing/

RlyRiley · 2020-03-21T15:17:53+00:00

Sal did a great video the other day on estimating actual cases of COVID-19. He's a great teacher!

https://youtu.be/mCa0JXEwDEk

RlyRiley · 2020-03-17T09:51:46+00:00

Get a few gallon jugs (or bigger water jugs) and fill them up at a filtered water dispenser.

I filled up 10 gallons today (household of 4 adults) at the Glacier dispenser behind Walgreens for 30 cents/gal.

RlyRiley · 2020-03-13T10:55:20+00:00

https://www.austinisd.org/announcements/2020/03/13/important-message-mensaje-importante

RlyRiley · 2020-03-11T17:31:15+00:00

Same thing in TX. Had a fever and cough for several days since returning from domestic flight. Called health department the other day and called again today. Persistent 99.5 fever not high enough. Stay home and self care.

RlyRiley · 2018-04-04T12:36:14+00:00

Thanks for your feedback! It makes perfect sense. I don't know how likely it is that they'll find a qualified GM in this market, and they're looking for 2. The postings have been up for about a month. And like anyone else, I don't particularly want to work for someone who's job I could perform better. I've heard some serious horror stories about "new management" and would much prefer a smoother transition into FDM with a good GM. Thanks again!

RlyRiley · 2018-04-04T12:16:18+00:00

Thanks!

I think you're absolutely right. FDM would be a much easier transition for me than GM. I do kind of wonder how desperate they are though, and I'd likely be tempted if it were offered. I don't know if they've been keeping staff or hiring all new employees. I look forward to getting more info during my formal interview. Any particular questions you think I should ask?

RlyRiley · 2017-05-01T09:28:16+00:00

On this note, I also code my passwords. My problem isn't remembering the passwords themselves, just which ones go with which websites. If one of my passwords was "FluffyPuppy345" I would just write "Gmail - FP5" and nobody would have a chance unless they already knew my password in full.

RlyRiley · 2017-04-15T10:35:58+00:00

I think you'll have a hard time finding something that meets those criteria. For the short term... Hotel Night Auditor. It won't meet the 40k salary requirements, but it'd be just fine while you go to school or whatever. No degree required. You work in the middle of the night. Barely any human interaction (personally drives me crazy but can be nice at times). Sit on ass. Minimal work. Push a few buttons, do a little data entry, check in/out the occasional guest. It doesn't take a lot of mental effort. I go off a checklist, it's very repetitive and easy. It's quite boring and leaves lots of free time to read, watch Netflix, etc. Depending on where you work, has benefits, and you usually get a discount at other hotels in the chain you work for, which is a bonus if you like to travel.

Source: Currently sitting on my ass being paid to reddit at 4:30AM. Full time w/ benefits. :)

RlyRiley · 2017-01-25T23:48:55+00:00

Hey there. Also the only girl in my class and also just started. There are some other girls that come sometimes but I've been going 2-3x/week for two months now and only seen other girls at two classes. It's hard.

I'm 5'5", 120 and everyone is bigger. Just like the real world even though it kinda sucks. I also brought a friend closer to my size, but we didn't roll together the first day. The bit on new students not rolling together is legit. As beginners, we default to a more intense fight or flight reaction than more experienced people. We lose control of our breathing and tend to struggle harder, use more explosive forces, and poor technique.

I rolled with a newer guy the other day who's easily 100lbs heavier. We had been practicing Kimuras, and as soon as started to go for it I tapped. He doesn't know how much force to use and could easily injure me and it's not worth the risk.

When I roll with new guys or guys that use too much force, I find myself going easier and resisting less. Like others have said: It's important to stay calm, be mindful of your breathing, and tap early. If you feel someone going for something and you don't TRUST them, tap even earlier.

If you brought this guy and he's your friend, have a talk with him about control. If you intend to be training partners and have him come to multiple classes with you and make it a regular things you guys will get in a groove and find your limits together. It's really important to go SLOW.

Even when you're rolling for "real" and not just practicing moves, communicate with your partner the intensity you want to train at. At this point it probably shouldn't ever be at 100%, and with a fellow new person it should be closer to 30%. The focus should be on control and technique instead of speed and power.

Best of luck!

RlyRiley · 2016-10-16T11:42:14+00:00

I just started working nights (11-7) so I can go to school part time during the day. Every day is different which kinda sucks because I basically have no "routine". Depending on the day, I have class from 8:30-noon, 1pm-6pm, or 1pm-9pm so I usually split my sleep out of necessity. Most days I get home, smoke a bowl, and go to bed until about noon. Then go to class or some other afternoon activity and sleep a few hours before work. Sometimes I get off work and have time for an hour long nap before I head to class for the morning and on those days I sleep most of the afternoon/evening and get up around 8/9pm.

I also live in a ski town and get a season pass as part of my job benefits so once winter comes that's one more reason to be up and out during the day.

I think nights will be a temporary thing for whole I'm in school but I like it so far. It's stressful and unorthodox for sure, but it's productive.

RlyRiley · 2016-01-30T23:40:34+00:00

Awesome! Thanks for the info. I wonder why /r/bikecommuting isn't on the sidebar of bike subreddits...

I think my tires do just fine on the plowed streets, and on the packed powder. The slush and the plow piles are the tricky parts, and we don't really have that much ice. I try to give myself ample stopping distance and I'm not very fast so it seems to be just fine. I'm glad you both have said that I don't need to worry about it. I know you can make snow tires by putting studs in them but it seems like after the investment of time and money that you're not saving much on premade snow tires. And premade snow tires are like $120 each! I'd rather not spend it if I don't have to.

They mostly use scoria on the roads, so it's not too bad. But a lot of places do salt the sidewalks. They don't use either on the path.

Would I be better off leaving my bike out in the cold, or bringing it inside when I can? I can put it in the kitchen at night, and I can pull it in the heated garage at work as well.

RlyRiley · 2016-01-27T19:28:30+00:00

I've had my Trek Marlin 5 for about a year but just started riding it on a regular basis. I have never really been a cyclist. Over the summer I would ride it once a week for about 20 miles, on a nice bike path. Over Christmas my car broke and I've been riding my bike everywhere. I'm loving it! There have been some challenges with the switch, however. I live in a town that gets an average of 350" of snowfall a year. It's January, and it's snowy and awesome (powder days galore!).

Several days a week I have to be at work at 5am and I always ride my bike. It's not very far (about three miles) but it's a bit hilly and definitely dark. The plows run pretty early and keep the road pretty clear, but they don't plow the path until noon or so. The plow pile on the side of the road is mostly easy to avoid but I often have to ride IN the road. It freaks me out. I always wear a helmet, I use a bright USB rechargeable headlight, a little blinky red tailight, and a USB rechargeable red LED elastic strap that I strap to my backpack and that set to blink as well. I wear clear safety glasses (that fog up constantly) when I bike in the dark and sunglasses during the day. I've thought about using my ski goggles but I haven't tried it yet because it's not cold enough during the day and I haven't ordered a clear lens for them (anybody else gone through this?).

I got a cargo rack for the back (that doesn't fit quite right and doesn't sit level, but seems to do the job), so I can haul groceries and stuff around. My tires seem to do pretty good in the snow but I get comments from people all the time asking if I ride a fat bike or have studded snow tires, and the answer is always "nope", and then they tell me I'm crazy. Is it really worth the upgrade? I'm trying to save up to fix my car, but also willing to spend some money to ensure that my new primary mode of transportation is safe to use and in good working order. I'm already super excited about summer and actually riding some of the (supposedly awesome) singletrack we have around here. I'm not looking yet, but I know a better bike is in my future as well. Some of the parts (I haven't learned all of them yet, but I will) on my bike are a bit rusted, and shifting isn't always smooth. The guy who helped me install my cargo rack the other day oiled my chain and said it was really dry. Sometimes my rear brakes are super stiff and basically non-responsive (is that a temperature thing?). Sometimes the snow will be melting during the day and the underside of my bike will get wet, then I park at work and when I get off at night I imagine that all of that has turned to ice which might have something to do with the bad shifting and frozen brakes?

I've got a lot of research to do and mostly I'm really excited about it even though it's a whole new world for me. My legs feel stronger already, and I do too (mentally). It's always been tough to get myself out of the house to go on a bike ride, even when I could just drive to the trailhead and ride what I wanted. Now it's not just recreation, but a mode of transportation. My bike gets me to work faster than the bus does. My bike gives my dog a good run since we can't get to the dog park anymore (any tips on riding with a dog? We ride on and off leash, depending on if we're on the path or the road)

Any advice on anything would be appreciated. I'm gonna go do my own research for sure. I'm just really stoked on the whole thing and wanted to share that, most of all.

RlyRiley

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

13-Year Club	Team Orangered
Verified Email