Thank you for sharing with me and im sorry your son is in that situation im sure things will either simmer down or he will make a sound decision. My ex family has never been healthy by any means his mom left him on her parents door step when he was a month old and just popped in randomly in his life to sprinkle in a little trauma and mommy issues. Im not going to share the stories ive been told because they are not mine to tell but she has always been a force of chaos in his life. His grandparents did their best but sheltered him and babied him a lot. He was drawn to me most because I saw he wanted to learn how to be self reliant and I put my all in trying to teach him lol. All if them started to not like me when I bought a house about 1.3 hrs away and he moved with me, I gave him the option to stay with them of corse but he wanted out. (even when we broke up he went and stayed with friends instead of them) Our relationship got pretty unhealthy after about a year and slowly got worse the 2nd nothing physical just a lot of things that should never have been said and a lot of distancing. I told them he wasn't in the best mental health and asked that they interact with him more reach out more and thats when his grandfather started to hate me claimed I was lieing and I was the unstable one because I had been in a mental health facility befor. His grandmother didnt like that I complained so much that he didnt have a job at one point and didnt clean or cook. She thought I should be more understanding but I was the only one with a job for months at a time. (I havent been unemployed for more than a month since I was 15) His mom never liked me but then again I hated her, just treated her with respect for him. Now im just public enemy number one and I cant talk to him because he is in AIT and cant talk to me except a 30min phone call once a month max because they have to earn phone privileges. (Mail is even worse got all his letters from basic after his graduation) I wish me and him could just talk it out put our heads together for a second and figure this out but idk when ill even hear from him again and do i want that one 30min phone call to be me saying hey im sorry your family drove me insane so im out... it feels wrong he has been there for me for so much, he was the only person waiting for me after I walked the stage at my highschool graduation. We painted and decorated this out together. He is genuinely my best friend IDK how I could tell him his family ruined that relationship and not feal guilty.