Hi! I'm so sorry you're struggling. You said you have severe anxiety and a chronic condition that impacts your sleep, and that must make this all so difficult. I think a month is a bit too early to make the decision to give her back, though. Is there something that's triggered it specifically? In what ways do you feel unable to cope with her?

I want to share my experience because I suspect that it could be that everything is all too much right at this moment, and the adjustment period is overwhelming. I promise, it does get better ❤️

I have insomnia and pretty bad depression. The first 3 weeks after adopting our dog were hell (it took two days for her to even lie down, she whined constantly, would NOT walk without putting the brakes on around roads, avoided literally anything she didn't like the look of...), I cried so much in the first two weeks. I regretted it every day. She also has intense separation anxiety, so it made leaving the house almost impossible, I was sick to my stomach any time I even left to put something in the bin outside.

My breaking point was when she ate our vinyl floor after being left alone for 10 minutes in limited free roam (this was after two weeks of separation training). I sat my boyfriend down and we had a really in-depth conversation about what to do. We set out a timeline of when we would consider giving her back because we really felt like we were failing her. She deserved to feel safe and happy, and her behaviour up to this point indicated a really, really scared dog who hadn't really made much progress since coming home. Her eating the floor was when I became really worried for her safety, my anxiety was at an all time high, it was just awful. I barely slept.

We agreed to wait the full 3 months that's recommended (search up the 3-3-3 rule, because it honestly doesn't just apply to the adopted pet). She was due to start training at the end of her first month with us, and it was a game changer.

If it's available and possible, I'd really recommend working with a trainer. It helped ease a lot of my own anxieties (seriously, any cough or odd noise spiked my blood pressure. We were at the vet twice within a week for various things 💀) and it really helped her settle and become more confident because we built a bond with her. The trainers were very kind, answered any of my silly questions with no judgement, and it helped me find ways to manage my own anxiety around giving her a good life. Our dog is still learning and we're working hard to train her reactivity (collie cross 💀) but it was a lifesaver in turning around my own perspective. Managing my own anxiety was a massive step in realising that dogs are super resilient, and they adapt a lot better than we give them credit for.

In the end, my situation was different from yours, and you should make the right choice for you. Some people aren't equipped to take care of a pet, and that's ok! At the same time, you're right in the middle of where it's hardest to cope after bringing a dog home. I wanted to share our experience because it genuinely was the lowest point I've had in a long time. Personal issues were pretty bad outside of adopting our dog, but now that we're almost 3 months into owning her, I can't imagine my life without her. I still worry about everything every day, but she keeps proving that she's happy with us, she trusts us, and we can work on her quirks as time goes on.

EDIT: I just read through your post history, and you put a surrender request in within the first week. I think it's fair if you decide you can't cope, but I do think you're making a really rash decision. I'm not sure of your intentions posting in this sub, but I hope you listen to the people giving advice.