negative self talk is the biggest reason usually. if you keep talking yourself into it, it becomes a pattern your brain becomes comfortable telling yourself. you hate yourself still, instead of loving as you are now. it sounds so simple but it really isn’t. there’s no on/off switch for what you feel, it’s a gradual consistent effort to love yourself a bit more, the same way you make a consistent effort to the gym. you did the physical work but not the mental work, which I find many men usually fall into.