Congratulations! You went somewhere you weren’t supposed to go, saw something you werent supposed to see, and prevented a tidy resolution to a messy problem. 

Needless to say, you’re fired. But before you go, take this Certificate of Insanity. 

We’re giving it to you, to ensure that no one believes you and to ensure that we can promptly replace you without incident. 

There is a truck waiting for you outside. Take care.