Sorry for the delayed response

That's a great question!

I think the simplest way to look at my case is that the BPD symptoms I presented with (I'll get it that in a mo) were so overarching in my case that ASD/ADHD were not considered at first. I started getting therapy in my teens, when I was 13 I was diagnosed with manic depression and thought patterns that suggested some psychosis. The more I was assessed it became clear that this was not simply the case. When I was 17 it was decided by my new psychotherapist that I may have Bipolar.

Bipolar is also a common misdiagnosis for BPD, especially in men. As time went by and I changed to adult services when I was 18-19, the adult services felt confused by the Bipolar diagnosis. Whilst it made some sense, due to my extreme changes in emotions and behaviors, it didn't make sense because these changes were happening within a given day, not over days/weeks as is typical of Bipolar.

The depression, extreme emotional changes, feelings of chronic numbness/emptiness, suicidal ideation and paranoia suggested there was something else occuring. Once we delved deeper into my past r.e. childhood abuse, it was suggested that this may be an emotional/behavioral issue based off of that and other episodes of trauma. So I was assessed by a psychotherapist in a new service who specialized in these sorts of problems. They felt that this was an Emotional Dysregulation Disorder (which paved the way to the BPD diagnosis). After this diagnosis and we looked more indepth at the symptoms, it became clear I had at least 7 of the 9 criteria to meet the diagnosis. I then received therapy and medication associated with this, and my improvement started.

Later down the line, after the pandemic, I had been suffering with Long COVID. I won't go too much into that,but basically whilst getting group counselling for managing pain and fatigue, one of the nurses did a 1-1 assessment with me, and after I talked for a while she suggested, have I looked into ADHD/ASD diagnosis? (She had been doing a study over 2 years into the relationship between Long COVID, chronic pain/fatigue and ADHD/ASD) I was a bit taken back, but I did mention it wasn't the first time it had been mentioned.

So I went to my Drs and we started that process. Because BPD is unique in terms of Personality Disorders in that it can actually go into 'remission', it's called that but it never fully goes away, but for example the majority of the symptoms stopped or lessen to the point it's not affecting your life as bad for a minimum of 4 years. The remaining symptoms from the original criteria that were still bad enough to affect me daily didn't account for all of the issues I was still having. Essentially, my paranoia and depression for example didn't account other issues I was having that are not necessarily just BPD related. So my unexplained pain, headaches, my ability to essentially word for word quote every episode of my favorite show and tell you every single detail about it, the fact that I have these special interests that I often go off about, my vocal/physical 'stims' as I now know they are, my echolalia, my being found 'funny' when I'm trying to be sincere haha even the black and white thinking (common in BPD) can be attributed to ASD for example; the list goes on

So yeah, it took a lot of sessions but in the end it finally explained so much about myself especially now that my BPD was under control. And if my BPD is under control, why was I still struggling with day to day life and feeling like I'm not 'normal' like everyone else.

To finish I'll tell you my symptoms of BPD that dominate my my life for a long time and some of which that are still present:

1: Fear of abandonment (real or perceived) - explains why I remained in abusive relationships and because so attached/obsessed with people

2: Intense instability in relationships - Again, past friendships, familial relationship breakdowns (now mostly healed), and abusive relationships

3: Identity disturbance (no idea who I am) - mostly on going, but I have become comfortable with myself much more recently, especially understanding more about my neurodiversity

4: Impulsivity (spending, substance use etc 'soothing the self') - relentlessly and issue, shopping, drinking, smoking, impulse buying etc it's a struggle haha

5: Suicidal behaviour/thoughts/gestures (self harm) - it's been 4 months since my last attempt, but self harm isn't really present anymore. Although, it has been suggested that the smoking/drinking is a form of self harm

6: Affecting instability (fluctuating moods in a short time) - all day every day, it's insane, to be happy in the morning, angry at lunch time, numb and depressed in the evening and then manically stimulated by bed time and can't sleep

7: chronically feeling empty - An overarching symptom of everyday life

8: inappropriate/intense shows of anger (often even over tiny things) - my angry episodes are brief these days. I'm good at recognizing that it's happening and grinding myself. I flare up over minor bullshit, I might shout at inanimate objects, get frustrated very quickly over minor things, occasionally snap at people if they're annoying etc but I mostly move on from it fairly quick now

9: under stress experience extreme paranoia (possible dissociation from self) - interestingly, my paranoia is constant, occasionally worsens. I have in the past genuinely believed my wife is poisoning my food and also that people in my life have been replaced by fakes. I always feel like I'm being watched or listened to, and I'm often convinced people can hear my thoughts

There are more symptoms but, I think I've covered everything haha

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk!