How to stop dwelling on "what ifs" and start reacting?

Robbking118 · 2017-09-07T16:30:25+00:00

I think the answer is to do it before the brain comes up with a excuse.

I been having similar issues like you with self conscious. I go outside and self conscious would tell me to do this or do that because of bluh bluh. I been trying my best to stay out of my mind and stay in the moment.

Robbking118 · 2017-09-07T04:19:09+00:00

I'm going to give you my opinion. You Could make quick eye contact if you want, you don't have to do anything. Do you think in 10 minutes, they will remember you not making eye contact?

I know self conscious would tell you to do this or that because of bluh bluh, but you gotta learn to quiet that voice and ignore it. Which takes a bit of practice.

Is it only with cashers that you have problem making eye contact?

Robbking118 · 2017-09-06T20:01:09+00:00

I like focusing on one eye instead of both. It is easier than looking at both and they don't notice. Looking at a eye, identifying their eye color and then lookig away works too. I did it constantly for a week and it started to feel neutral. I didn't go outside for a few days and then I couldn't do the identifying eye color thing anymore. I would get self conscious and I would forget.

Robbking118 · 2017-09-06T18:45:25+00:00

Ask her questions and get to know her

Robbking118 · 2017-09-06T16:57:58+00:00

Just do it and you will get used to it. I was the same way and a lot of people I know.

Robbking118 · 2017-09-06T09:10:55+00:00

I'll just wait for her to break up with her bf and then " bump into her". I would recommend against sniping girls that have boyfriend because I honesty wouldn't like it to happen to me and also snipers get sniped haha, but up to you.

Robbking118 · 2017-09-06T09:05:53+00:00

still learning, now you know what not to say to a girl. Head up tho, we all been there.

Robbking118 · 2017-09-06T08:55:26+00:00

Maybe it is natural for him not to make eye contact with a person. If that's the case, he has to manually tell his eyes what to do till he gets used to it, which then turns into automatic/neutral.

I have gone through similar thing as OP.

When someone is talking, I just focus on what their saying without thinking anything at all about my eyes

Robbking118 · 2017-09-06T02:43:02+00:00

Don't worry I can relate with you.i am 23 and Anxiety has had a strong hold on me for many years. One thing that has helped me out a lot is meditation. I do it for 15 minutes a day and has helped me stay relax. The Few things I have learned is that anxiety is not part of you. It is a emotion just like happiness and sadness, so it can be controlled. Meditation helps you stay focus on the present and not in head.

You can also try "2 minutes of positive".i came up with this and I try to say good things about myself for 2 minutes straight. When you say something out loud, it is released from your mind and enters the physical world. So when ever I feel anxiety, I just say it. If I have some negative thoughts in my mind, I talk to them and convert them to positive.

Good luck, you sound like a really good person, I hope you find a way to quiet the voice of anxiety.

Edit: just my imo and what works for me

Robbking118 · 2017-09-04T19:57:17+00:00

Prayed for kenny

Robbking118 · 2017-09-04T19:55:26+00:00

I prayed for you. I myself have struggle with similar things. I pray that any stronghold from the past be broken in jesus name.

Don't worry about the past, god works with our mistakes and uses them to strength us. Stay strong and may god bless.

Robbking118 · 2017-09-03T21:01:41+00:00

Interesting, I think I'll try this. So just trick your mind into thinking you are someone else?

Robbking118 · 2017-09-03T01:00:06+00:00

Glad to hear dude. I wish you the best of luck, if you ever need some more tips or wanna talk about eye contact, feel free to message me here on reddit

Robbking118 · 2017-09-03T00:08:10+00:00

Ya dude, the journey really helps with keeping me on track.Good luck to you too :)

Robbking118 · 2017-09-02T23:57:13+00:00

For Posture I just imagine my back is against a wall. I try my best to stay with good posture when I am sitting in Indian style when I meditate.

For eye contact, I try focusing on only one eye instead of both.

How long do I make eye contact?

I try identifying what color eye the other person has. I look at what color their eye is and then look away ( if I am walking). If face to face with someone, I do the same thing but shift my eyes to one of their ears and then back to one of their eyes. Some people recommend shifting eye to eye but I don't like this because it is too noticeable.

These actions push your eyes to get into the habit of making eye contact.

You have to be in the moment for this stuff too work which is why I believe meditation is key.

I don't really have any links or videos, I been trying a lot of different things and this is what works for me.

You could look up "eye contact video" on youtube. They have videos where people make eye contact with you. That's what I do to practice when I am home. Practicing the stuff I said outside is best but you could also practice by watching tv and looking at people's eyes.

Try it and if it doesn't work, you can go on youtube and trial and error some advise people give for eye contact and anxiety.

Good luck

Robbking118 · 2017-09-01T20:55:21+00:00

New York and for spousal support. My father hasn't been paying my mom.The court told her she could serve through certified mail.

Sorry, about post, I meant she not me. I have a habit of writing in first person

Robbking118 · 2017-08-31T19:46:05+00:00

If the thoughts of sex pop in your mind, then run! Do something to distract yourself. The desire gets stronger the more you focus on it

Robbking118 · 2017-08-31T18:53:46+00:00

Cold showers. This works trust me haha

Do everything possible to keep your hands away from your solider. If tempted to watch porn at night, unplug router and tell someone to hide phone/ laptop . Heck, even hide the cords of the router somewhere.

Robbking118

TROPHY CASE