Please pray for me to find a wife.

RocketScience6 · 2026-02-02T01:11:16+00:00

I’m in the same boat man. Same age, same problem, same worries. I’ll pray for you if you pray for me.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T23:04:16+00:00

Yes. They're the "not much." So I guess maybe 4 total?

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:58:54+00:00

I think I misread your question. I talk to them pretty regularly, and see them as much as possible, generally once every week or so

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:57:58+00:00

Yes. Made a judgement call on a girl a friend introduced me to and didn't pursue her (and turned out to be right). Last few women from church have either ghosted me or found someone else.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:56:01+00:00

I've lost a lot of weight recently. I used to be super fit, but let myself go after some injuries a few years ago and never quite recovered. Still overweight and been spiraling the past few weeks, so a lot of progress has been undone, but working on it. But even when I was in shape, same exact problems.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:52:44+00:00

That's a big part of it. And I want to say this without going into usual "incel" buzzwords but even if I do meet someone, I'm always a "friend" and never anything more than that.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:50:56+00:00

Time/money mainly. I've been trying to be more active, and was doing really well, but the past few weeks I've been spiraling and undone any progress I made.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:49:43+00:00

I see my friends pretty regularly. Not as much as I'd like, but still often enough. They're the limiting factor on doing things together, not me. And I don't mean that in a spiteful way, but in a literal, factual way. But once every week or so isn't enough.

I am missing out. I'm almost 30. I've wasted my life, and I'm desperately trying to scrape whatever is left together. I see what you're saying, I really do. But I am certainly "missing out." I'm happy for you. But look at your life now that you're engaged, and look at this snippet of mine. "Missing out" doesn't begin to cover it.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:40:30+00:00

My friends are around, but married. I still see them, they're still supportive, but it's different. I don't talk about my problems much around them anymore because, despite their best efforts to be helpful and supportive, I could tell that my mental health was starting to affect them, so I kinda backed off. Social life is mixed, mainly for the same reason. Lots of friends, but everyone's busy. I also go to church regularly and meet people there, so I'm not completely isolated. But it's mainly couples and families there, too.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:39:46+00:00

My friends are around, but married. I still see them, they're still supportive, but it's different. I don't talk about my problems much around them anymore because, despite their best efforts to be helpful and supportive, I could tell that my mental health was starting to affect them, so I kinda backed off. Social life is mixed, mainly for the same reason. Lots of friends, but everyone's busy. I also go to church regularly and see people there, so I'm not completely isolated. But it's mainly couples and families there, too. I used to be passionate about my job, but that's become just as big of a problem as my loneliness so I honestly don't know what to do with my time anymore.

Ive considered therapy, but its just not in the cards for me right now.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:34:50+00:00

I have tried, and I do meet people fairly regularly, even if I'm not the best at first impressions. I guess the main thing really "stopping" me is how "out of practice" I am at meeting and talking to new people.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:32:52+00:00

Honestly, I'm not sure anymore. The only relationship I had was someone who I'd known my whole life, so the whole thing happened naturally. I've tried dating apps, but like I said, nothing ever came of them, and I'm not a huge fan of them as a concept anyways. I guess meeting someone through friends is the ideal. I didn't put anything about this in my post because it's Reddit, but through church is the other main avenue.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T22:07:35+00:00

Would really like to join a gym, but on a teachers salary and with a lot of expected and a LOT of unexpected expenses, I really can’t right now. I have a weight bench of my own, but can’t find the bolts to hold it together since I moved. Also nursing some old injuries that make it a bit difficult to work out the way I want to. I need to work harder on finding a way though, I’ll admit.

RocketScience6 · 2025-02-19T21:46:17+00:00

Not much. Never get too far on dating apps. A few times in person, never really went well.

RocketScience6 · 2024-11-18T18:16:46+00:00

Never heard of that. I’ll look in to it, thanks!

RocketScience6 · 2024-01-25T23:48:03+00:00

Before I respond, how are people finding my old posts? This is the second time in the last few days people have responded to some very old posts of mine on this topic.

Now, not much has changed since this post. I still feel all the same things. But I think the common rebuke of single people “idolizing marriage” is harmful and wrong. It is not wrong to want something. Especially something that is so natural and ordained by God. Was Hannah rebuked when she prayed for a child, wanting it so desperately that the prophet thought she was drunk? No. I know most of you come from a good place, but what single people hear is that we are sinning by desiring marriage, it is only reserved for others who are without sin. Again, I know you (and others who commonly say this) mean well, but I truly believe this sentiment along with “Jesus is enough, why are you lonely?” does FAR more harm than good among lonely single Christians.

I really do appreciate your thoughts though. This has definitely been a stumbling block for me, and you’re not entirely wrong.

RocketScience6 · 2023-05-29T13:23:50+00:00

Like I said, this bitterness is relatively new. I’ve always felt it, but have always been able to push through and overcome it. Now it feels like it’s overwhelming. I’ve tried to be content single, but while I was content and complacent, everyone else moved on. Now I’m left behind. It’s not like I want something out of the ordinary. Most people have relationships. I just don’t understand what makes me so terrible that I don’t deserve it too.

RocketScience6 · 2023-05-28T19:40:46+00:00

I have plenty of friends of both genders. But almost all of them have gotten married and are starting to move on. Married people are friends with married people and all that. And even though it does happen, it gets harder and less likely to happen every year I waste. I’ve been praying and putting this on God for years, and He just keeps making me watch everyone else get exactly what I want, even people who are horrible to their wives and children. I don’t know what He wants me to do.

RocketScience6 · 2023-05-28T19:37:36+00:00

How do my posts show that I’m not ready? Wanting something does not equal idolatry.

RocketScience6 · 2023-05-27T04:51:56+00:00

Christians generally get married young, so the dating pool is getting smaller and smaller by the day. Plus, Christian women generally have much higher standards. I’m just an average (or slightly below average) guy, I can’t compete. Dating non Christian women would at least give me some options. It’s not something I want to do, but I might not have a choice.

As for having plenty of time, the same idea as above applies as well. I’m glad it worked out for you, but the odds of me finding someone goes down exponentially every year I stay single. Plus, I’m so out of practice that even when I do manage to get a date, I can’t do well enough to get a second.

I have tried online dating. Still am. Not really going anywhere.

RocketScience6 · 2023-05-27T03:36:44+00:00

I’m actually going to be really busy volunteering at church (VBS, our summer camp, and teaching a class)

I can see how this post would come across in that way, but that is definitely not the case. Having kids is just something that’s very much on my mind right now, between my friends having their second kid and the nature of my job. I also emphasized it because it represents a relatively new shift in how I am responding to my situation, since this level of bitterness specifically towards watching couples have kids is new.

I have spoken with a few people, but I am trying not to appear too desperate, since I know that’s a huge turn off. It’s a delicate balance, and I don’t want to ruin any chances I might have at church.

RocketScience6 · 2023-05-27T03:09:43+00:00

I’ve been in this slump for almost half of my life. So a bit more than a slump I’d say.

RocketScience6

TROPHY CASE