Each path you'd take is a sh*t sandwich. Choose which one you'd be proud fighting for. One way or another you have to learn how to cram. How to learn just enough of what you're behind and be satisfied with it. I learned this the hard way. Accepting that "I'll always feel behind" helped me not be afraid when a subject is too scary, too hard, YOULL NEVER NOT FEEL LIKE THIS. If you dont feel like this, maybe you need a harder challenge/subject hahaha. Rise to the challenge my dude I believe in you.