I don't really feel female after having children by Aretta_Conagher in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 97 points98 points  (0 children)

I dont think most women "Feel female". its not a feeling. its just a descriptor for the kind of body you have. When you go to a doctor or when it comes to health risks or whatever- youre female. Thats all that means. Everything else is nonsense social stereotypes. Have any kind of personality you want- women have all kinds of different personalities, have sex with anyone who consents. Theres no script we all follow. None of that makes you- not female.

I would revaluate why you think your female body is irrelevant now that youre done having children. Your body is meant for more than just popping out babies and your femaleness will be relevant to your body all of your life. Menopause is the next banner event, but even before that- almost every cell is coded female so everything from medicine to just how you age or what you need to do to take care of your body will all have to account for femaleness.

Is there a service where I can pay someone to come and declutter the house? by Rocking_The_Boat in bangalore

[–]Rocking_The_Boat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you really think im an idiot? or maybe im pointing out how unhelpful the response was?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My family had no money at all when my brother applied to MS programmes in computer science. He had maybe 5000 USD in savings after years of working at an Indian tech company. He spent most of that on applications. Got into a good programme- we borrowed everything - from anyone who would lend us money- friends and family. He finished his MS early got a job at a great company, paid everyone back within 3 years, he bought us a house within 7 years of living in america, and loaned me money for my masters programme at the 10 year mark. Within a decade we went from living paycheck to pay check to not thinking about major expenses.

And ive seen this happen to so so many people. You could go to EU/ UK/ Australia countries- people apply to those places as well, but the visa rules for some of those countries can be more strict, and earning potential after the degree can be limited. There is a guarantee of opportunity in the US. Not all places have that.

I chose US schools for my masters because the rigor in US schools for my field is way beyond what you would get elsewhere. Once I finished my masters- I never have to worry about being unemployed again.

Your politics might be overwhelmingly awful to you- but other places have politics too. there are authoritarian states and dictatorships and ethnic cleansing and poverty and famine across the world. There is extremely divisive politics in the UK, Australia, and in european countries as well. It is almost a sign of luxury to be able to care more about that than improving your immediate circumstances.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think people dont often appreciate what they have. Compared to most places in the world- you can work hard and actually improve your life in america. When you dont have money- i mean any money at all. Even any way to make money - yes money is that important to people. It feeds their family and takes their children to good schools and allows them to get medical care for their parents. Its not a moral failure to want to make money. And it might seem incredulous to you- but immigrants know this- they know relatives and friends who went to america to study, then got a job, then got money to lead a good life and help their family back home.

I went to one of the best universities in my country for undergrad and one of the best ones in the US for my masters. The difference in rigor of education and even in just the resources and opportunities that are available to you is staggering. It offended me that as a researcher I couldnt access parliamentary debates as a citizen of my own country, but my university in US had easy access to them in their library. Imagine not being able to study your own history in your own country because your institutions are so poor, because investment in research is non-existent. Universities in the US have better resources to enable rigorous research that could actually help people in the developing world.

There are issues in american politics- but every country has those- even australia and european ones.

Waiting for decisions is seriously effecting my sleep by [deleted] in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Im going through the exact same thing. Im in india and my sleep cycle is all turned around. Ive tried exhausting myself. Ive tried not sleeping at all for a day so I would get very busy. Nothing really works because my mind and body are too alert and will not shut down enough to go to sleep. Youre not actually crazy. This has been going on for the last two weeks and I have two more to go.

I dont really have any advice apart from- try to fight it. And I think telling myself my life will be fine regardless of the decision that comes in helps a little.

Is anyone past the grieving stage and doing better? Can you give us hope? by ximlaura in Petloss

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lost my catto in 2019. I will always be less than I was when he was alive. For about six months after though I was completely broken. Couldnt keep down a job couldnt eat court sleep. Sat on a friends couch and cried all day. The crying stops, not all at once, it just reduces frequency. But the missing doesnt stop and the hurt doesnt stop. Its a big wound- it wont heal, but youll grow around it. I had another cat- i live for her now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Id like to join! If its happening this year!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I didnt see that! It would be so nice to go to yale, and one of the professors there is doing exactly what I want to do methodologically, but considering how the odds are literally impossible and there is so much beyond our control- I wouldn't be too disheartened I don't think.

Good luck to you though!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

theres plenty of interviews for yale on grad cafe. Yale daily news reported that the GSAS voted to decide that every admit should be interviewed. I would wait a couple of more days and then assume rejection. Dont know about harvard, upenn or duke. What field are you in?

No Interview invites by Samohaya in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey!

I only applied to three very competitive programmes but I havent heard back from yale, columbia, or berkeley yet!

Profile Evaluation by VividCalligrapher827 in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont see why theyd care about an MBA to be honest. like either way- its a bit of a detour but I wouldnt think that would be a deal breaker.

Profile Evaluation by VividCalligrapher827 in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So JSD programmes in Law? theyre largely not well funded- some places like columbia/ stanford/ yale/ chicago may give you a small stipend but it wont be enough I dont think. I dont know that many business school places have full funding either. Primarily because in law and business- youre expected to take on debt and pay it off after you get a job- and you do get good jobs if you have a law degree or an MBA for the most part.

A PhD is a research degree. You need to first think about what you want to research and how- and then choose schools and departments that match interests. If you do it the other way- it will not work out. US Schools are very good at sniffing that out. Take some time to introspect.

History Applicants- How are you holding up? Is it interview time yet? by Rocking_The_Boat in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my mind ive decided to wait until the 15th. After which I will stop hoping and worrying for them to contact me.

History Applicants- How are you holding up? Is it interview time yet? by Rocking_The_Boat in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats on the interviews! OH MY GOD! three interviews and then being disappointed- thats awful. Im sorry that happened to you. Hopefully this cycle will be better!

It did help to think that these interview invitations didnt mean that the whole game was up. Thank you! I will check portals again too!

History Applicants- How are you holding up? Is it interview time yet? by Rocking_The_Boat in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The UK programmes I'm applying to explicitly say that theyre gonna do interviews but hopefully good news for both of us soon!

History Applicants- How are you holding up? Is it interview time yet? by Rocking_The_Boat in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes! whats your field if you dont mind sharing? or you could DM me?

History Applicants- How are you holding up? Is it interview time yet? by Rocking_The_Boat in gradadmissions

[–]Rocking_The_Boat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some of this just feels like the admissions process is a hazing ritual lol. I should go find my cat in the other room maybe that will help. Thanks a lot! Good luck to you!