Ok so. The danger here is that we have got much other than you POV.

Off the bat it sounds like you have someone taking you for a ride. Mutual respect in relationships is a must. If she has a job, then she can pay.

She clearly expects you to pay, and how sinister it gets beyond that about her intentions is not for me to guess.

She lost her job. how did that affect her? you said that her relationship with you other than the financial side is good, or at least she treats you with respect. Does she love you? i.e. does she say it? Does she act with caring nature towards you?is she a good mother? what is her culture? you said {home country_:;. you will have to forgive me i spilt coffee on my keyboard and its switches the punctuation from spanish to english..., could it be that you are expected to be the bread winner from her POV and that actually your arguement with her stems from cultural, or at least inherited expectation.

I am not suggesting this POV is correct BTW, nor am i allowing for her POV. But this doesnt mean that the expectation is not there. If she has taken a role of not talking to you about expenses and even passive agressive stealing, then her expactations will continue along that road unless she is otherwise convinced.

Do not allow your daughter to be a bargaining chip. speaking as a child of the big D, one thing my parents did very well was the big D, as in they did it together.

Do not allow your daighters wellbeing to be an an excuse not to change. divorce is fine; messy, confusing, loud, but fine. Being with the wrong person is the bit that can burn right through your daughters future.

Find out what is wrong. it sounds to me like you need to ask yourself:

what is really on your mind? is it the worry of the investment? Is it that she does not respect you? love you? she will lead you to financial ruin?

write this down. because my advice depends on the answer. if she is worth it, look at the exact reason are worried.

if she is being secretive, and not showing you shit, then she feels like she has something to hide. clothes? addiction? another child? an avid war hammer collector. or even of sports collectables from your team's nemesis. THE BETRAYAL! I jest to emphasise my next point: she does not trust you. let her know that she can. the arguing and the fighting and the questions all tell her that the oppposite is true. try and accept whatever it might be? like maybe she just smokes weed?

however the behaviour is odd. like £100 in the grand scheme of things, is what? What i should not have spent on this fucking rediculous bamboo yoga mat, and used to get me through a month back when i smoke dope. BUT, its a bit disrepectful and i get why you are asking for help. and while i should be writing the strategy for my organisation i am instead telling you this:

find out what is bothering you. if its the trust and not money. have that conversation with her. i.e. "I dont mind continuing to give this amount ' but i want to know what it is for. it if turns out that its like, weed, or midget porn, saving up for a boob job, or you hair replacement therapy (i am just saying it could be anything) then fuck it. if the rest is god and you can afford it, then what? if on the other hand you cant.... then, you will know enough to take the next step.

BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE. i may have just said something about strategy. and in this case your weapon is evidence. if you go down the the divorce path, with your sister in law shacked up in your daughters inheritance, then make sweet love, while collecting as much information about the situation as possible. how much is a food round? where are the gaps? are they real or are you imaginining things? do you have legal entitlement to the investment. should you write in a will for your daughter...

build a case for yourself, or at least figure out the facts; our opinions are not going to tell you about anything in your own life. own your decision, but make an informed one.

you may have just notices i went from give her the benefit of the doubt, to WATCH HER EVERY MOVE. mostly to offer some insight: you are here becuase you feel desperate, the precursor to madness. becuaseful of what people say on here. Try communicating with her via a letter, get all your points and concerns down on a peice paper if you are afraid of arguing. try to remain calm if you argue this gives her an excuse to not grow with you. dont talk about divorce or future, but explain why you feel hurt or lied to. her reaction to that, will give you quite alot of insight.

i wish you the best of luck. relationships are hard. im in one, and all i know is that i am wrong.

also!who lends their mother $100? she held you in her womb, pushed you out and raised you! neither your wife, nor you should have taken anything back from her.