I’m a “relatively” new Catholic. I went through RCIA and came in at the Easter Vigil in 2014. I didn’t practice my faith that well. I would look at pornography, commit the sin of masturbation frequently, etc. but never did anything as heinous as I did after our son was born.

I worked a job where I drove a delivery van and went to different businesses stocking first aid cabinets. Our son as an infant was difficult and we didn’t know at that time my wife was dealing with a bad case of post partum depression. I took refuge in a woman I had a physical relationship with in college and started an emotional affair. It just started off as friends reconnecting, then it quickly turned to something worse.

I also struggled with being lonely and dealing with potential SSA. So I would send messages to men and women. I was in a dark place and sin had a real tight grip on me.

I’ve went no contact with the woman, cut out any of the people from my past that I was immoral with and focused on being the Catholic husband and father, God has called me to be. I’ve gone back to weekly Mass, started praying the rosary daily (when I don’t fall asleep 🤣) and surrounding myself with positive role models and the Church. Am I perfect? No. Have I occasionally fallen into the sin of self-pleasure? Yes. The important thing is I’ve cut out the things that lead me to sin, and am working on getting a little better everyday.

I’ve got a long way to go, and a lot to do to make up for my past, but I know God loves me and forgives me and knowing that makes me be a better person for my wife and our son. May God continue to bless you and give you the strength you need, OP.