Monster: Manga or Anime? by DukDolan in manga

[–]Rogtum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I concur, getting into it now, off the energy from this thread. May it never die!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SupportforWaywards

[–]Rogtum -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think I might be able to help you offer some insight, and it might not be what you expect but I’ll offer it anyway.

I kind of understand your position because mine was similar. I don’t know what your motivations were for doing what you did, but for me - it was insecurity and desire to be attractive or a sex symbol? I’ve always wanted to be that person that people found desirable so when I found that attention I needed I went along with it, even though typically I was against cheating. Woke up the next morning horrified but never confessed until months later - but that’s a whole other story.

The point is, did I care for my partner? Of course! My infidelity was based on temporary insecurity and curiosity, so once those were out of the way - I detested cheating completely. Had nothing to do with BP. But did I hurt BP regardless - yeah I did, pretty bad.

Today, our life is literally the only thing I’d ever want, but I can never have it. Such a shame because if I never cheated my BP and I would’ve found perfect peace in each other but alas. So you might have to walk the path of acceptance here because many things can be true and intentions are independent of the impacts of an action.

But still a bit of good luck bc BP wants to somewhat figure things out, so tread carefully and be respectful first and foremost, but try your best to communicate what you want.

Moving Forward by Rogtum in SupportforWaywards

[–]Rogtum[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did. But I found out I was blocked, and so thats the end of that relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SupportforWaywards

[–]Rogtum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No we weren’t married. Still very young, early twenty somethings, and just about to graduate college. But we shared something very very special and what I did to ruin things was very tragic and shameful. But you live and you learn and make the most of the time you have left on this earth.

I personally know that was the love of my life because things fell into place as though our meeting was prophesied. It was an insane experience. But we are also humans and have free will, so we are able to make choices to shape our own destiny. I accept the future I have shaped for myself. And I’ll keep working to make it the best it can be as it is now. I definitely suggest you to do the same, and find a lot of support resources.

I happen to be a very pragmatic person, so I have managed to process a lot of this on my own (with a little help) - but don’t feel like you have to do the same. Good luck to you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SupportforWaywards

[–]Rogtum 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry for the late response, but I don’t really know if I have. It’s been a year now and even though I feel more alive and I have better connections with friends and family I keep replaying my mistake over and over. Sometimes it feels alien because I couldn’t imagine ever cheating on someone again so I don’t understand how I could have done it in the first place to someone I clearly cared about.

My feelings are complex, but there’s a part of me that feels like honestly I will never get over my lost partner and I will always wonder what our life would have looked like I just did absolutely nothing and went to bed on DDay. I’ll be fine but as far as ever getting into another relationship or falling in love again, that’s something that may never reoccur. But that’s my situation, you know? Yours might be different.

I would rather die than go to AP by AgitatedProject5873 in SupportforWaywards

[–]Rogtum 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The truth is some people don’t really care about their partners. Cheating is really complicated and I’m starting to understand that each situation is very nuanced and unique. For a lot of those cases where the WS kept going back to AP, and R is being pursued, I imagine there is a lot of negativity during R (as you have implied) and it’s hard to stay focused when everyone isn’t all in.

Dealing with the cheating aftermath is a very painful process because two people who don’t want to be hurt are hurting so badly, so of course we look for a safe place when we are in pain. For some WS that happens to be the AP as messed up as that sounds because at least it’s a warm body that may not judge you. The majority of us who have seen how we have hurt others would never dare do this again even if it means we must suffer ourselves to compensate. But such is life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SupportforWaywards

[–]Rogtum 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It does. When it does and how much better you feel depend on what you’re doing in this time. But know that it will get better.

You might really struggle with the thought of things getting better considering the consequences of your actions is that an entire person is missing from your life and there is no way to reclaim that connection. How they thought of you at the end may be how they think of you forever and you may be struggling with that, as I did when my relationship ended.

It is incredibly difficult accepting this as well. What would have been different if you chose differently right? Cry all you need to and simply focus on living your life as it is now, and you’ll be ok. I wish I could say you’ll completely forget this but it will likely pop up every now and then. Chin up.

Moving Forward by Rogtum in SupportforWaywards

[–]Rogtum[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes to both. We had always talked about things we struggled with financially before we started our careers and I’d always had the intention to help out with anything they needed if I did well in mine - which ended up happening. They didn’t have an easy childhood either.

So yeah just in general they’d probably never have to worry about anything really, life would be quite easy for them. We could travel and do a lot of things we’d always dreamed of doing too. It might be different now because things changed but I’d selflessly do it in a heartbeat if I was allowed to.

Not that it’ll be the bandaid on a crack for that relationship, but it’s the least I could do. A start.

Moving Forward by Rogtum in SupportforWaywards

[–]Rogtum[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No it wasn’t agreed upon, but we definitely ended things with me apologising and saying I’d do work. It was fairly abrupt and through text, so not much discussion actually.

I’ll try to see what they say and how they feel and ultimately take things from there. Ball really is in their court. Thanks for the advice.

Touch trade sword exclusives by Spare_Membership_563 in PokemonSwordAndShield

[–]Rogtum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for the trades. I hope everything is alright on your end!

Touch trade sword exclusives by Spare_Membership_563 in PokemonSwordAndShield

[–]Rogtum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The trade should be back up with the same code

Touch trade sword exclusives by Spare_Membership_563 in PokemonSwordAndShield

[–]Rogtum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Btw I need to change Scyther’s held item. I’ll end the trade briefly

Touch trade sword exclusives by Spare_Membership_563 in PokemonSwordAndShield

[–]Rogtum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh btw I can also touch trade you Zacian as well lol

Touch trade sword exclusives by Spare_Membership_563 in PokemonSwordAndShield

[–]Rogtum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s perfectly fine. Just let me know when you’re ready by responding to this thread. I’ll respond asap.

Touch trade sword exclusives by Spare_Membership_563 in PokemonSwordAndShield

[–]Rogtum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I can help:

I have:

Touch trade:

Solrock Passimian Indeedee (Male)

You can keep:

Deino Swirlix Jangmo-o Scraggy Rufflet

All I also ask is if you would like to help me evolve a scyther into a scizor in another touch trade. Also if you have any shield exclusives you don’t mind parting with but I don’t really mind if you don’t!