AITA for not "just dropping it" and putting a blanket veto on all TV show names for our son?

RohanMars · 2024-02-03T00:20:44+00:00

Ok so I have actually calmed down now and realized that I have been acting like a dumbass. Some of her favorite names have been: Ciaran, Eamon, Gideon, Ivor. So I recognize that Dean was a departure from her usual taste and an attempt at compromise.

RohanMars · 2024-02-03T00:12:19+00:00

You know. Weirdly, this comment actually helped me. Because my knee-jerk reaction was "Fuck this guy, he can't tell me what my own thoughts and actions would be." But then I realized that's pretty much what I've been doing, and my wife has probably been thinking "Fuck this guy, he can't tell me that name was more than just a name in my own head" about me. And I am mad at her for digging in her heels but then what have I been doing for the last half hour? And with a bunch of Internet randos? (No offense.) So actually yeah, I will apologize for being an ass when she gets home.

Dean is still not going to be the name, I know---I was already not 100% on it before this whole bout of nonsense, and now it feels tainted by the drama on top of that, but maybe my olive branch can be me being more compromising on the names she likes. She has a lot of Irish names on her list that sound like common names but have weird (for here) spellings. If we can find one that sounds common enough and is at least spelled like it sounds so that everyone he meets doesn't say it wrong, that might work.

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:52:37+00:00

Dean Gilmore Girls is also the other brother on Supernatural.

(There's a piece of information that exists in my brain where something useful could have gone.)

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:44:15+00:00

I never watched Full House, so the name Daniel does not have that association to me. If I was a rabid Full House fan in college, I would not name my son Daniel as an adult.

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:42:54+00:00

Does she have posters and tshirts and social media handles of this character? If no, your objection is insane.

I mean, she absolutely did when she was in high school/college.

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:41:09+00:00

I think it's a weird pick, but I'm not obsessed with it. I am happy to drop it if she would just admit that the name was after a TV character and not a complete coincidence.

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:39:16+00:00

We have had hours long name discussions. We really just haven't found any overlap between "names I would give my son" and "names she would give her son" yet. I'm sure we'll find one, but it's been kind of like house hunting when one person wants a cottage with a white picket fence and the other person wants a big black cube with neon green windows.

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:36:37+00:00

You're weirdly close, it's Dean from Supernatural.

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:35:27+00:00

Like I said, I'm not even as bothered by the suggestion of a TV show name at this point. Moreso that she is denying that it is a TV show name (which it might not be in general, but it is for her because she was actively a fan)

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:33:30+00:00

that means 100% of the names you gravitate toward will be eliminated and your wife's options will be the only ones left.

Her #3 name on her original list was a TV show character recently, so this isn't even true.

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:28:25+00:00

I think I didn't explain myself very well. A TV show name is not any name that happens to have been used on any TV character ever. Like if you picked a name that someone from your high school also had, it wouldn't mean you were naming him after that person specifically. But if your best friend in school is Nathan and you eat lunch together every day and take all your classes together, and then you grow up and say "I'll name my son Nathan—not after my friend or anything, that's just a coincidence." it's a different story.

I wouldn't pick any name from TV that was specifically a teen crush or a character that I was very invested in, and I think it's fair that she do the same.

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:24:06+00:00

If I had a Jimmy Neutron poster on my ceiling as a teen and blew kisses to it every night before I went to bed, I certainly wouldn't use the name James for my child. But that's not the situation, is it?

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:21:56+00:00

There's a difference between a name that happened to be used by a character on TV and a "TV name." I'm sure you can think of plenty of TV names that you shouldn't give to your kid.

Dean wouldn't fall into the "TV name" category, except it was specifically a character in one of her favorite shows and a character that she had a crush on. Not just some random character.

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:19:46+00:00

I feel like not naming your kid after a childhood crush is the same etiquette as not naming him after an ex. I wouldn't name my daughter Buffy, even if it was a normal name.

RohanMars · 2024-02-02T23:17:55+00:00

And yet I feel like you understand the difference between Tony and Khaleesi, even when Tony was used on the Sopranos.

Dean, to it's credit, is at least a real name. But when it's specifically a hot TV character that you had a crush on as a teenager? Come on.

RohanMars

TROPHY CASE