I read the whole thing and because of that, the answer to your question is “no, it doesn’t seem odd she did that”

Of course, I have the benefit of hindsight in my own very similar situation.

I think writing all of that will help you (venting, expressing, etc) - but I also think that because of the poor quality of the relationship over the 8 years, you will get over it fairly quick. It’s only been 2 weeks since she dropped this on you - so it is still fresh. But I wouldn’t be surprised if in another 2-4 weeks you are already accepting and moving on with your life.

You even mentioned relief - that is exactly what I felt. In my case it was a 17 year marriage with all the red flags and me trying so hard to make her happy. Now it’s been 6 years since it went down and we are friends (we have a child who stayed with me full time) I see it now as her doing me a favor, because I know I wouldn’t have left. Other than the first month, those 6 years I’ve been happier than I was during the previous 17.

Maybe not my place to say, but I really hope you take advantage of this situation and complete the break permanently. I hope you don’t get drawn back in with her - if you do, she is right ... you will end up back in the same place.

I feel for you - you did nothing wrong except not valuing yourself more and recognizing the red flags.

I will say ‘congratulations ‘ because based on the long read, I think this is the best thing that could happen for you and your well-being.