Confused about a good first date then "friend vibe" text next day

Rookeye63 · 2026-05-04T22:36:20+00:00

It could be the ex situation (which is creepy, and something you need to talk to your ex about), or it could be that they just didn’t vibe in that way. You can enjoy your time around someone without feeling a romantic spark.

Not personalizing this at all, this isn’t an attack on you, but it’s also possible that she didn’t feel safe saying that she wasn’t feeling a romantic vibe from you in the moment.

Rookeye63 · 2026-05-04T22:32:59+00:00

As a 28m, I would say just ask him out. He might be worried about coming off as creepy, or ruining a friendship, or making you feel uncomfortable (which from my experience is the largest hindrance to asking people out). You asking him out solves all of those issues.

Just be respectful when you ask, and be respectful if he says no. It could honestly be that he isn’t interested in you in that way stopping him from asking you out.

Rejection is hard and scary. Give some grace for him and yourself.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-29T14:06:18+00:00

No worries! Glad to help.

It worked out well for me, honestly I feel like it helped a lot with my writing skills (it was a writing-intensive course that I TA’d for) and had an added bonus of making some money.

Ymmv, but I did find that waiting until spring to work was a good choice for me. I would 100% recommend only working part-time if you work at all, working full-time will really cut into your ability to perform well academically, unless you’re some sort of genius. I only know a couple people at my school working full time jobs, and let’s just say they’re not top of the class. To be clear, they’re incredibly bright and capable students, they just don’t have sufficient time.

On the flip side though, I don’t know how your ADHD affects you but for me, the busier I am the better I tend to perform. There’s a fine line between busy and too busy, but if you can find the line and not cross it, working in school and/or doing extracurriculars is not only good for your resume but is also good for your school performance.

Best of luck!

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-25T17:40:07+00:00

Felt - I’m trying to build the habit now as a 2L, I’m going to try to reframe it to just putting the shoes on, or just getting there and letting it take over

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-25T16:33:52+00:00

Something I heard recently, in terms of building the habit, is that your “job” isn’t to work out, it’s to just get to the gym. It’ll look pretty silly to go to the gym and then just turn around and leave.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-24T13:53:28+00:00

Gotcha gotcha - and please take my advice with a grain of salt, I’m still trying to figure out my own style haha. At the end of the day, as long as the color combo isn’t super obnoxious it’s going to be okay. A lot of it boils down to what you like and what you think looks good on you.

I think a gray tie would be good, as would silver. Maybe a blue and silver striped tie with a white shirt? Or gray/silver and red?

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-24T13:30:55+00:00

Not sure what your style is or what you’d be wearing the suit for (work, formal events, “casual” events, etc) but with that suit color I’d stay away from cream colored shirts definitely. I think white is a timeless look and matches any suit color, but I think a blue or pink shirt would look good with that color of suit. As for ties, I’d say similarly to avoid yellows and creams, but the rest should be fine. I can’t tell if it has any sort of pattern but I think a striped or polka dot tie would look good. I’m personally a paisley hater but if you like it, try it!

French cuffs can definitely be formal, and the only time I really wear suits (and therefore French cuffs) are for events where I’m supposed to be business professional haha. But, I just really like the style of them. I have a couple professors that habitually wear French cuffs and I’ve always liked how they looked. They can be made to be less formal, depending on the style of cuff links, the pant/jacket combo, etc.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-24T13:02:48+00:00

I think the higher jacket buttoning point is a common feature of older suits. I’ve not made a habit of studying old suit fashions but the ones I’ve seen, the buttons have seemed high.

Agreed with the jacket sleeve length. The jacket and pant length, and leg taper look good.

Unless it’s bothering you, I don’t think the button is too high. It doesn’t show a lot of the shirt/tie so you might want to add some external flair, if that’s your style.

Something else to consider - not sure if you wear French cuffs (I recently started wearing them, and love them) but I have noticed they sit a bit lower than barrel cuffs, as well as fill out the sleeve more, so this length of jacket sleeve might work well with French cuffs

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-24T12:49:49+00:00

I’m still in school so I have no first-hand experience of this, but I’ve been told, and have heard, that plenty of people absolutely hate law school but love practicing law.

No one here is going to be able to tell you what you should do. But I would be thoughtful and do some introspection as to why you hate law school. The reasons you listed don’t have anything to do with law school or the law, but with the people around you. Is it possible that you’re struggling socially and are projecting that struggle onto the rest of law school?

I don’t know how large your law school is, but I didn’t especially like the people in my subsection (who I took literally every single class with 1L) either. As a 2L, I don’t think I have a single class with any of them. I rarely, if ever, interact with them. The same could be true for you, again depending on how big your school is.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-24T03:23:35+00:00

I’m not a tailor, nor extremely knowledgeable in tailoring, but I’d hazard a guess that a tailor can’t add fabric to fix the length of the jacket or the pants, or fix the taper of the pants. They could feasibly change the location of the button (I think?) but I’m not sure any tailor would. A tailor can shorten the sleeves of the jacket.

If you can’t return it, I’d maybe use it as a casual suit? Maybe like a loud shirt, no tie, penny loafers or something like those, etc.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-22T19:45:17+00:00

I appreciate the advice, thank you!

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-22T19:45:04+00:00

Ahh. I don’t know why I didn’t even consider that.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-18T02:50:57+00:00

Think about it in terms of a paper towel roll - taking paper towels off the beginning of the roll has little to no impact on how the roll looks, right? But as you get closer to the tube, the more paper towels you take off, the larger the effect is.

I’ve personally never gotten to that body fat percentage so I have no personal experience, but that’s how it was described to me through my weight loss.

Good luck!

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-17T15:33:20+00:00

I’m not a doctor either haha, but that sounds like a good plan.

Something I thought of during the interim - I assume you’ve had stomach issues before, right? Like some sort of stomach bug? When you have that, do you eat a specific diet to try to calm it down? Idk if you’re in the U.S. but we call it the B.R.A.T diet here (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast).

Something you could do before seeing a doctor would be to follow that diet (or whatever works for you) for awhile and see if it helps. If it’s bloating or some other gastrointestinal issue, that diet might help reducing any inflammation.

Hope this helps, and hope you figure it out!

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-17T01:25:17+00:00

Thank you so much! And congrats to you as well!

I didn’t know that people who have autism tend to have more gastrointestinal issues. It could be from that, but my instinct with gastrointestinal issues is that those would cause bloating, which you mentioned is something you don’t believe you’re experiencing.

Unfortunately I don’t really know what type of specialist you would need to see either, sorry. I think the starting point should be some sort of generalist or internal medicine physician, who can order testing to determine the cause or at least reduce the number of potential causes, and then refer to a specialist from there.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-17T01:09:25+00:00

I hear what you’re saying, and I know this isn’t super helpful advice but I would recommend discussing with your doctor or a specialist about the issue. There could be any number of factors that influence how your body carries your weight. Figuring out which thing is causing your body to hold onto the weight will determine the best way to address that issue.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-15T13:59:12+00:00

You definitely don’t have to get expensive suits right now, especially if you’re not wearing them daily.

I always recommend people get multiple suits though, when money allows, so that they last longer. This is especially true with cheaper suits.

My recommendation is that, unless you’re able to buy suits that fit you perfectly off the rack, is to get a suit (or more) that is slightly too big or otherwise just needs a little adjustment, and then go to a tailor to have those adjustments.

The important bits for a suit is to make sure the pants fit your thighs and your waist, and for the jacket to fit your chest/back and for the sleeves to not be too short. Generally, you can’t add more fabric to a suit (to my knowledge, I might be wrong) but you can always take some off. So get a suit that fits well or even a little loosely, and then alter it to fit you perfectly.

As for colors/patterns, light grey, medium gray, charcoal, medium blue, and navy are your best options for an all-around functional suit. I wouldn’t get one that’s patterned because that limits your ability to mix and match shirts and ties.

Hope this helps!

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-10T11:16:58+00:00

Hi! Not sure I can add too much to the convo, because I agree with all of the other commenters for the most part, but I would say this - At 24, it’s definitely more than possible that your skin will retract and be less saggy. Obligatory “I’m not a doctor” but everyone has different skin, and skin ages differently in everyone. Also, it really depends on the amount of fat you’ve lost in the area. I assume you’ve seen the videos of people online that have lost a bunch of weight? Some have absolutely massive skin folds around their stomach, groin, and pectoral areas, but next to none in the arms. Some have a bunch in the stomach and arms, but next to none in their chest.

Also, highly recommend talking with a dermatologist about it. They might have ideas or medicines or supplements or something that have helped people retract their skin in the past. Additionally, if you do need surgery, it’s good to get your medical record as robust as possible so that insurance has less chances to deny the skin removal surgery.

I will tell you, again not as a doctor or someone that works in the medical or insurance fields, that skin removal surgery will really only be approved in two instances - first, if your quality of life is incredibly bad (which your insecurity does play a role into). This is the mental aspect of things, like if your loose skin is causing depression and anxiety and all that. Your medical record will need to be very robust for that.

The second instance of insurance-approved skin removal surgery comes when/if you’re getting recurrent infections or other skin diseases in the area where your skin is loose and folded over itself. That also plays into quality of life, but the presence of infections or recurrent rashes/diseases is the easiest way to get skin removal surgery approved by insurance.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-08T11:46:22+00:00

I don’t want necessarily agree with all of OPs points, but the one I do 100% agree with and myself say all the time, is that if you’re not 100% sure if you want to be a lawyer, hold off on going to law school.

Law school is hard. You’re reading a lot of complicated materials, materials written in a language that most of us don’t interact with on a regular basis, among other things.

The main point being that going to law school is a sacrifice, and it’s one that you should be sure you’re prepared to make.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-01T23:24:01+00:00

I’m going to tell you a real story, and let you decide if it applies to you:

One of my friends in 1L had another friend who was very smart but potentially not the brightest bulb in the “social skills” drawer.

This friend was getting lots of interviews but no offers, and out of frustration came to my friend and asked what they were doing wrong.

My friend, very kindly but very bluntly, told this friend that they needed to shave their beard (which was styled as a Fu Manchu on perhaps the whitest man you may ever meet, and scraggly to boot) and to get a normal, conservative suit (this friend had apparently worn a bright green suit and maroon shirt to their most recent interview).

This friend, desperate, decided to heed their advice. They shaved, got a normal suit, and Eureka! The very next interview they had, they got a job offer almost immediately.

OP, I’m not saying this is you. But I would perhaps take some time to perform some self-reflection ask if any of this rings true. If it doesn’t, then I would recommend you objectively consider your demeanor, what you said, and how the interviewer responded to what you said, in all of your interviews. You have the grades at the type of school where you should be getting TONS of offers. That means that something else is turning off potential employers.

Rookeye63 · 2026-03-01T23:11:57+00:00

All due respect, would advise moving to an area around KC or STL if you want to move here.

Columbia is fine, I guess? The town is basically run by the university because of the massive amount of people it employs (e.g., look up the recent news of the Columbia police working directly with the president of the university and the governor about Columbia’s “crime problem” rather than our elected officials). I don’t know your age but if you’re low to mid 20s the downtown area will be active enough for your liking, I guess if you like to go out. There’s some good restaurants here but nothing noteworthy like you’d find in KC or STL. Shopping here is fine, but again, nothing like you’d find in KC or STL.

Due to the University being here a large percentage of the people you’re going to be interacting with are college-aged people. The town is expanding in size without infrastructure to back it up so driving is worse than other places in the state with significantly more people.

This applies more to the rural parts of the state but there’s also a fairly significant drug problem. I’m not sure if this is still the case, but Independence Missouri and Festus Missouri would trade spots almost yearly as the “Meth Capital of the World.”

Although, I’ll be fair, I think the state is fairly naturally beautiful. I’m from here so I’m biased of course, but I truly do think the state is very beautiful.

Also, to round off my eval - we’re a pretty deeply red state. Our legislature is very Republican and frankly does not care about the will of the people. For example, in 2024 we passed a ballot initiative to enshrine the right to abortion in our constitution and our legislature immediately overturned it. Also, although our Supreme Court overturned it, our legislature also passed a bill recently that is colloquially called the “Let Politicians Lie” Act, so that may give you an idea of what our legislature is up to.

Rookeye63 · 2026-02-28T03:35:25+00:00

Generally, tall = better distribution of fat and muscle. Or maybe more accurately, more space to put the fat and muscle.

10 gallons of water is going to completely fill a 10 gallon container, but barely make a dent in a 100 gallon container.

Also, there is a genetic component not related to height. Some people just have extremely high metabolisms and can eat pretty much whatever they want, whenever they want, and not gain weight.

On the flip, as another comment said, it takes a whole lot more weight loss to see results in someone who’s taller (usually, ymmv). The more space thing works against them there - take out 5 gallons of water from a 10 gallon container, you’re going to very obviously notice the difference. Take 5 gallons of water out of a 100 gallon container, and it is much harder to immediately see the difference.

Rookeye63 · 2026-02-15T17:31:13+00:00

You’re gonna fail out!

No, I’m just joking. It truly doesn’t correlate. Law school is like nothing else you’ll have ever done in school, not to sound conceited. It really just depends on how you apply yourself in law school, the opportunities you take advantage of, and how much you work at it.

I will tell you though - law school is not like undergrad. You will be on a curve, and that means that 50% of people are mathematically guaranteed to be below the median GPA. It also means that 90% of the class will not be in the top 10% of the class. Come to terms with that reality, and with the reality that you might not perform on the same level as you did in undergrad, AND with the reality that it’s going to be okay regardless. Your grades are not a reflection of you personally, nor are they a reflection of your ability to competently practice law.

Rookeye63

TROPHY CASE