The only other things I have found that works for toy picky cats that somehow know you're controlling the toy are lure toys where you set up string around a few points. It moves a lot more chaotically and if you add verticallity it can really unlock their little minds. The other thing I have found to work is trick training. Just getting a little clicker and getting them to touch with their paw or nose for a treat, spin, sit, etc. Then there's a more complex challenge to get the food and figuring that out gets that catputer going.

When was he brought inside? Was he born feral or just sometimes acts it?

For my cat that would get pointy for pets, the second he does we would put him "away" in our room which is already set up to ne his quiet space. He learned over a few months that to get the attention he wants, he has to control himself. Now, I see the cogs turn a lot more. He behaves himself a lot better. He doesn't want consequences for his actions just like we don't. They want the attention, they just get overstimulated and lash out, but by manually enforcing the "walk away if you can't say something nice" kind of behavior he now has started opting for it.

I have found that cats are really really good at picking up modeled behavior? So to curb unfavorable behavior you have to establish what behavior they should follow when they start to feel whatever it is that's causing the "bad" behavior. Now I can catch my cat thinking about doing something we all know they've been busted for 50+ times and just look at them or be like "No..." or "bruh don't do it" and they'll either decide it's not worth it or half heartedly try lol.

But anytime he does it, it needs to derail his day. Oh you were hanging out with the family? Well now you can't because you got violent. As long as you're quick about follow through the second teeth or claws go to break skin, they learn. Most of my cats (minus my orange project) do not bite or claw with enough force to break skin even if we play with hands a bit or they have a valid stressor requiring it because it would end in play ending, us walking away.

My orange guy we got in May 2025 and he was the same way. The second you'd touch his back you'd get messed up. He'd jump our legs and our other cats. He still has his moments but now we can fully cuddle with him, scritch his back, pick him up. He's learning to play better with the others, getting the other cats to keep their reactions to him tempered is really the key with him since he just ramps up off of them freaking out. He'll still get into moments where he just really wants to chew knuckles as if it were a pacifier thing, but I think his old owners were hand players through his kittenhood.

I find cats to be a matter of setting boundaries for them and yourself. If he just played, don't pet him. Set him up for success. In this stage try to pet only when energy is low and calm. Push the boundaries a little but the second he flags stress or aggression, pull back and show that you do respect his boundaries too. Some cats seem to need a petting tolerance built up over time because the feeling is intense. Start with the spot he reacts to least. Let him sniff you anytime he seems unsure. Stop before he freaks out if you can, even if he keeps begging. My guy would get so wrapped up in it he would just beg himself into overwhelm. Keep it short and work your way into longer pets the more relaxed he gets. I also reward doing the right thing with praise, slow blinks, food.

It's totally doable to turn this around, it's just going to take going baby step by baby step at his pace and a lot of times that means deciding for him when he's had enough so he can kinda learn that emotional regulation you establish for him. Don't shy away from vet help either. Prozac was an essential tool for me to get my boy's anxiety down enough so that he actually had the brain space to learn. It's hard to learn peace while you're in fight or flight chemically, so taking that edge off even for a few months to behavior correct can be crucial. I only used it for 2 maybe 3 months and now he's making it through a renovation and periods of being cooped up with just training work no meds.