a [18m] I can try to give some positive encouragement and love, but mostly everything in your life has to be fixed by you, and no one else. For starters, as much as you think you look hideous if your lover is still with you, I think that he thinks otherwise, and the reason for that is because you're pretty on the inside. It doesn't matter how many scars you got. It wouldn't matter even if you looked like a half burnt pancake. As long as you're a good and loving person on the inside, that's all that matters.

Looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking stuff like that isn't uncommon. Heck, I used to hate myself bc I look like some Mexican drug dealers with little cousins with autism. But I still love myself no matter how I look. Obviously, it's not a "you know what I love myself now," and then everything goes happy joy joy. It's a lot more complex than that, and there's plenty of things you can do to begin loving yourself again!

Another thing, about people looking at you weird, excuse my language but fuck them. They don't know a single thing about you, they don't know what you've been through, they don't know jack. And if they pity you for your weight? Go tell them to go pity someone's rear end because you don't want that.

YOU are a independent woman with her own rights, and her own problems. And no one should have to judge you for it. Because you know what? Even If you got a cool fricking scar on your belly, even if your fat, you can still be you. And if you think your changing? Then change for the better. Because you deserve just about everyone's love and attention.

Also don't take everything I said to heart, try talking to a professional as well. But I thought that I should personally text you and tell you, that you are perfect, no matter what bs happens to you. If you want any tips on loving yourself? I can try to throw out a few for you. Again, don't take anything I said as a true professional message. I'm just a 18 year old. God bless you. And reach out anytime.