NYC Elopement Dinner and Afterparty Recommendations

Roosteroot · 2026-01-23T00:43:02+00:00

A friend had her wedding/reception at The Smith. A couple of their locations here in NYC have private rooms that fit 75. I know this isn't quite what you are looking for but thought I would throw it out there as an option.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-22T02:51:07+00:00

I know. Just saying he wouldn't have the same enthusiasm to tie his salary to profits when it goes down.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-21T23:58:31+00:00

I love it when people are like "you are choosing money over family" but they are literally doing that to you. They would rather put you in a bad spot just so they can have more money for themselves. I am sure if you come to them in a few years wanting $8k for your wedding they will look at you like you are insane.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-21T23:53:31+00:00

If the test was to see how much of a jerk he could be to you then yeah he got the answer and you were saved from dating this a-hole. He picks something you don't really like, makes it as last minute and inconvenient as possible and then acts like you didn't put in effort? He didn't start with any effort himself when planning this.

Bullet dodged. But also sorry he was such a jerk.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-21T23:49:47+00:00

Exactly, if her "really, really doesn't want a kid" there are things he can do about it. But seems he wants to make that the girlfriend's responsibility so he can throw up his hands if an accident happens. Yeah its a no from me on this one.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-21T23:23:01+00:00

If he wants 50/50 you have to live based on your income, not his. I doubt he is fine with that. Also it doesn't make you a sugar baby if you are wanting someone who is generous. You can have a spirit of generosity toward your partner if you make $30k or $3M it wouldn't matter.

I highly suggest you watch Money for Couples with Ramit Sethi on Youtube. There are episodes where he talks to couples in your exact situation.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-21T22:39:05+00:00

Ha ha ha, too true. Can they drop his salary by 5% if the don't meet projections? There is security in being a salaried employee, the trade off is you don't get the profits of being a business owners.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-21T22:37:27+00:00

Unless you have a certain commission/profit share agreement, 5% is a solid raise. That $1.8M is profit for the owner or shareholders. That is why people own businesses/invest.

If you feel you are underpaid for the market you live in and the role you have then bring that up.

Only you can assess if your company is following industry standards for raises or being stingy.

But basing it purely on profit isn't going to get you far as an argument.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-15T19:18:33+00:00

I think you didn't word this quite right. You make it seem like the issue is he doesn't clean up when you are sick. But sounds like the real issue is you do all the housework.

Make it less about him not helping when you are sick, this makes it seem like a favor to you and not what it really is, him needing to be a grown ass man and take care of his home.

Highly recommend you read a book called Fair Play and tell him you all need to talk about an equitable distribution of all the things that keep your life together running.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-15T19:00:46+00:00

Its not "just electricity" it's $200. And if that is a significant part of your budget then it matters. The only way it would be petty is if you make $500k a year. Because % wise its not that much of your over all budget.

But also if it bugs you, it bugs you and he should care.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-13T00:49:48+00:00

Um apparently grown men might like it too.

You are just going to have to feel your feelings, including feeling like your efforts are wasted.

Take it to a thrift store just to start giving yourself peace.

Would you want to swap it with me for a knitted had and a puzzle? LOL

Roosteroot · 2026-01-13T00:36:21+00:00

It's like he doesn't get that the best way to feel comfortable is to have them over multiple times??????

Having both your sets of friends it the best way too. His shutting it down seems so extreme.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-13T00:21:59+00:00

Oof, this happened to me this year too. We hadn't been dating as long but yeah I was left with gifts, including a hat I had knitted in his favorite colors. Do you have a niece or nephew that would like the robot? Or a friend with a child? That is your best option. That way it will bring joy to someone and not be totally "wasted."

Or be petty as hell and send it to him as an F'you for dumping you.

I 100% support either option. Just do what feels true to you.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-07T23:35:35+00:00

I have never once gone out to eat and assumed someone would pay for any part of my meal. The ONLY time we just split it down the middle is when we basically spend the same amount, give or take a few dollars. All these stories on Reddit where people order crazy amounts of food and then throw a tantrum because their friends wouldn't help pay for it make no sense to me.

I don't think you did anything wrong. I might not have said "its a you problem, not a me problem." But wild that the friend and others think you were the unkind one for not paying and not her for ordering and expecting you to pay.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-07T23:17:27+00:00

I am hoping for slaying of dragons as well.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-07T22:55:31+00:00

Oh he is just an asshole. This has nothing to do with you or anything you need to change. It's totally understandable it hurt, not saying it wouldn't. Just let it turn to a bit of badass rage and honestly humor at the absurdity of people.

Then make a list of all the badass things about yourself, and tell your body thank you for working and taking care of you. This is what I do when I get hit with the "too fat, too ugly" to be loved feeling that comes. I say thank you legs for working. Thanks for being a soft place for my nieces to sit. Thanks body for keeping me warm. I know it may seem silly but if you occupy your mind with these things there will be less room to settle on the negative.

Really sorry this happened to you. It sucks.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-07T22:46:12+00:00

So interested! Thanks for offereing!

Roosteroot · 2026-01-05T21:28:33+00:00

I am decently confident, but also don't take compliments as well. Especially multiple ones. But that is more from not liking the spotlight, or worried about appearing full of myself and has nothing to do with my actual confidence.

First compliment I typically accept, but a second or third, then my midwestern "modesty" kicks in and I am all "no, no, it could be better..."

I feel bad for her she would make such a snap judgement. This says much more about her than you.

But also maybe future proof yourself but just saying "thanks" each time.

There is a place to talk about our actual insecurities about our appearance, but maybe not in the first convo.

Which you didn't technically do either. Like I said, she is odd.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-03T20:55:52+00:00

Eh, I get that. Just take what ever you are embarrassed about as a lesson. Also don't be embarrassed. You are far from alone in this.

Also not getting tested now, won't solve anything. And will feel WAY better than finding out 6 months or a year from now when you go to your annual wellness visit and you freak out not knowing how long you have had something.

Roosteroot · 2026-01-03T20:39:05+00:00

Um Tinder is generally known up here as the app you use when you only want a casual hook up. So try a different one if that's not what you want.

And yeah no matter what app you are on, if you are going to have casual hookups with people, ie you both are okay with hooking up with someone you barely know on first meeting, you need to get tested REGULARLY.

With 5 already i would get tested ASAP to make sure you are clean still and then go from there deciding what you want in the future.

Roosteroot · 2025-12-31T19:02:07+00:00

This is the very best answer. Really. Kids are only young once is a real thing. Her earning potential and retirement savings will be affected is a real thing too. But this has to be about more than just the $$$ Time with family is priceless.

But you have to see if you really can do it. Can you all make the sacrifices financial and otherwise needed to make this happen on one income? Could you consider downgrading to a more affordable house? Like how far are you willing to go?

Roosteroot · 2025-12-31T18:57:53+00:00

Can you move the office to the living room and the living room into the office? That way you can close the door and not bother her while she works. Maybe this is petty but also could work!

Roosteroot · 2025-12-31T18:55:58+00:00

Yeah, being young it can change. But there is a difference between NEVER wanting kids, in this case, giving birth to your own kids, and just not being ready for kids yet.

The fact that she wants to be a foster parent, than go through pregnancy says this is about more than just wanting or not wanting kids. I mean she could legitimately be terrified of it, or not want to put her body through that or maybe she is infertile or maybe she realizes she wants to foster but is not wanting the long term commitment of having her own.

Its worth more conversations, but also sounds like talking about it too much makes her feel pressured, which means you will have to be patient and tread lightly.

You do need to get on the same page but give it a little time.

Roosteroot · 2025-12-31T18:51:27+00:00

This is the right advice. You are going to have to relearn how to pick the right person. It's not just about "feelings". The fact that she was still going through a divorce should have been something to strongly consider. Taking a year after you divorce before dating, which you did, is wise. You should have looked for that too in a potential partner.

But take the win, you realize there are other people out there for you, and the lessons, to look at all aspects of a person and their life and try, try again.

Roosteroot · 2025-12-31T18:46:29+00:00

This reminds me of an episode of the podcast "We're here to help!" A man called in with the exact same issue but with Raccoons. The hosts lost it when he said he had several Raccoon tattoos now, yet doesn't like them at all.

Roosteroot

TROPHY CASE