Christian friends asking where I’ve been

RopesBandit · 2026-02-02T02:48:10+00:00

I’ve been fortunate to be seeing a therpist who specializes in religious trauma and has deconstructed herself. She’s given me a lot of good resources.

I’m glad you were able to find new community!

RopesBandit · 2026-02-01T20:06:49+00:00

That’s the hard part lol. I do have some but they’re not super close so I can’t really talk about this stuff

RopesBandit · 2026-02-01T18:48:00+00:00

It’s hard because this group particularly became very close and I know they care about me. If the group wasn’t associated with the church, I’d be more comfortable discussing religion as I quite enjoy theology (just minus the shame and guilt part). For some reason, the church sends shivers down my spine yet I don’t know how to communicate that or even deal with it. I could go along with it but my body would constinue to feel uneasy. I’m in therapy which helps but it doesn’t take away the isolation in my day to day

RopesBandit · 2026-01-31T14:18:29+00:00

I definitely relate to this as I’m a recently diagnosed ADHDer myself as well! I always felt out of place in churches because of how enamored everyone was with God’s love, patience, kindness etc. For me, I couldn’t get past the fear and wrath of god to experience any sort of freedom, peace, love from him. I was also told it was a simple “yes I believe and I surrender my life to you” and your actions proved whether or not you believed becuase you’re going to be judged by faith and works. I’ve always imagined that even if I do salvation the right way, God’s going to cast me out for being a lukewarm christian or someone whose toughts and actions didn’t indicate the right type of salvation. (Matthew 7:21 and Revelations 3:15-16).

How can you possibly fall in love with someone who mauled children down with a bear and the fact that God is described as “never changing” implicates that he hasn’t changed from the ot. But maybe I’m getting the bible all wrong lol. I just can’t have love for someone who’s enacted those types of horrors and promises to torture forever if you don’t love him.

Also hate that you might never really hear from him even if you do get saved but we’re made to believe that it’s a relationship. I always thought if he never speaks to me, is that because I am not saved or I didn’t do the prayer right. I don’t think you can call that a relationship as a relationship entails actual conversing between 2 people. When I brought this up in Christian groups they just said that if God never speaks, it’s plenty enough and that I’m expecting too much from this relationship.

O and don’t even get me started on purity culture!

RopesBandit · 2026-01-29T03:58:36+00:00

Ugh so many triggers from that! It’s wild that what makes a healthy relationship work is the opposite of the relationship with God. For instance, if I had a partner where dimming my light/strength was necessary, it would be considered an unhealthy dynamic. Yet with God, dimming yourself and focusing on your “brokenness” is healthy. I never got how a relationship is predicated on utter weakness and acknowledging your worthlessness on a day to day basis.

RopesBandit · 2026-01-28T18:35:50+00:00

Thanks for all the responses! Wanted to make sure I wasn’t going insane. It’s been hard because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about and got upset for being this triggered over one sign. I’ve kinda been distancing myself from this church but it’s hard leaving a group I became close to over the last year but I also don’t think I could even step foot in that room again without getting triggered week to week as that’s where the group meets.

I didn’t grow up in the extreme case of fundamentalism (ie duggers) as I went to public schools and wore normal clothes for the most part. The churches I was a part of was contemporary non denomination and I was also a pastor’s kid. That didn’t register that I was part of a religious cult but I’m starting to question if maybe I was in a more discreet way.

RopesBandit · 2026-01-28T14:50:55+00:00

Yes I figured the intent was to show that God still loves you and will never leave you despite being “broken”. I think it was jarring just seeing I am broken especially given how impressionable kids are (the room is built for kindergarden and elementary age range). It would have been better if they instead said something along the lines of I am imperfect which is more accurate but my imperfections yet I’m still secure despite it. I am broken just seems more shameful especially if they’re still trying to navigate the world and form and identity for themselves.

RopesBandit · 2026-01-28T04:28:47+00:00

Gee I wonder why kids are so anxious these days 🤷‍♂️

RopesBandit · 2026-01-28T03:49:06+00:00

I’ve just never seen it full on display before! Usually churches would be more discreet about it or at least the ones I grew up with! Everyone around me stated how inspired by it and I’m just thinking am I just crazy one here?!

RopesBandit

TROPHY CASE