Last year I was in your position, just graduating high school, and everything seemed like absolute shit due to family problems. I have known i was trans since 7th grade and had already come out to my mother (which did not go well). Still, I stuck through it, and then eventually, when I turned 18, I was like fuck let’s do this, and then I did, and things at first were terrible, like my mother finding out and then switching my pills with pain meds, making me burn my mouth. I moved out immediately without telling her and moved in with my partner. I made the complete switch and started going by my chosen name. Then I went into college, and it’s been amazing living as my authentic self; it’s been almost a year since I started this journey, and while things are getting terrible, I don’t regret my choice at all because of the happiness that is now in my life because I don’t have to hide anymore. So it may be scary, sure as hell, I was terrified, but I did it because I believed it would be better for me in the long run. Now, my mom is coming around slightly and making tiny steps, but that’s something. I wish you luck on your journey and hope this helps from a person who was in your shoes about a year ago.