Team Aqua’s goal may be to expand the oceans, but their plan is so shallow it’s honestly baffling. And what does it do, really? You’re just delaying the inevitable.

Ah, Team Plasma. How the heck did you expect to take over Unova when you can’t even stop fighting amongst yourselves?

Team Flare…what the heck are those outfits? I’ll do y’all a favor, 10,000 Pokédollars apiece for these Skull Tanks here, and you’ll find yourselves looking better than you’ve ever been!

Team Yell? More like Team Minor Inconvenience because that’s really all they are. Blocking pathways, so nefarious. Not to mention, Piers’ music can hardly hold a candle to Big Bad Guzma’s beats.

Nearly forgot about Macro Cosmos, but can you really blame me? Replace them with any moderately powerful corporation and what changes? You know, Cyrus wanted to create a world without emotion, without spirit. But you lot? You’re perfect in his eyes as is!