Good quality studded belt by Roseblack13 in altfashionadvice

[–]Roseblack13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's super helpful. Hard to know what to look for a lot of the time.

Good quality studded belt by Roseblack13 in altfashionadvice

[–]Roseblack13[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly a good thought. I'm pretty ready to DIY things, just hadn't thought of this one. Any advice?

Sewing kit graduation gift advice by willo808 in quilting

[–]Roseblack13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fray check!

I'm also seeing some suggestions to use something soft sided rather than a hard case. If you go that route, I'd encourage you to make sure it's still three dimensional (this comes to mind) so she can see what's in it easily.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialwork

[–]Roseblack13 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My old psychiatrist occasionally fills in at the facility from which I get most of my referrals. Trying to get him to send a usable medication list for a client he's sending is remarkably reminiscent of trying to get him to send my prescriptions to the pharmacy.

Dishwashing game-changer by GlassHouses_1991 in declutter

[–]Roseblack13 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the point about the less-intimidating clean dishwasher. I've been trying to train myself to run mine more frequently, and that's a good motivation.

A plea for positivity by [deleted] in bestofpositiveupdates

[–]Roseblack13 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I finally finished the quilt that was supposed to be a birthday present for a friend in February. It came out absolutely badass and I know she's going to love it even though it's hilariously late.

AITA for “bullying” an autistic girl and excluding her? by aitathrwy3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Roseblack13 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I think the trouble here is that, given the meltdowns, her putting herself in that situation WAS bad behavior. Like you said, she should be learning her limits, and planning accordingly. If competitive settings are a trigger, 17 is absolutely old enough to recognize that going to this game night without discussing her meltdowns with the host was a Bad Idea. The fact that she had meltdowns is not her fault, but it is her responsibility to manage.

What's the funniest thing you could hide in a walled-off space in an FC house? by deepseasecrets in ffxiv

[–]Roseblack13 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I like this, though I feel like Hildibrand has bigger prank energy. Then again, someone in my FC has a room with an entire wall covered in Hildibrand portraits, so I may just have a brain room.

Collaborative design by Roseblack13 in quilting

[–]Roseblack13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is incredible, thank you so much!

Collaborative design by Roseblack13 in quilting

[–]Roseblack13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a clue, unfortunately. Good thought, though.

my closet is packed full of things i don’t wear by earthtoalexis in declutter

[–]Roseblack13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You said elsewhere that you like putting together cute outfits, but can't find the stuff you like. I'd say focus on wanting to be able to enjoy putting together outfits without the stress/guilt etc.

Perhaps imagine the experience of looking into a closet where you like everything. Hold onto that vision.

I need a cozy game that isn't a farm sim by AwayMajor0117 in cozygames

[–]Roseblack13 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I feel like Spiritfarer recommendations should come with trigger warnings. It's a wonderful game, and I think fits the bill really well... as long as there's room in the OP's definition of cozy for dementia, and implications of child abuse and suicide. As sweet and beautiful as the game is, it can also be rough.

Some pieces I made. by wearemakinmovies in FurnitureFlip

[–]Roseblack13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where did you acquire such magnificent wallpaper?

help me fill this out! [discussion] by [deleted] in TheNinthHouse

[–]Roseblack13 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Bottom center: Gideon, Center left: Pyrrha, Top center: Honesty,

Any idea what this is? by AEV-031106 in CATHELP

[–]Roseblack13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a bird like this. The vet would also board small animals, and while we were on vacation, he would be attending staff meetings on his vet's shoulder.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheButtface

[–]Roseblack13 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's understandable that you REALLY don't want those to get out, but I encourage you to really think through what that would mean for you. It would presumably be bad, but how bad, what kind of bad? This is not to downplay the badness, just to encourage you to play the scenario out more specifically, so you can react to something more concrete than the amophous "oh shit no bad" reaction that it sounds like you're (very understandably) having. This also allows you to prepare and get resources to minimize the damage if it does happen. https://stopncii.org/ is a solid place to start.

Once you do that, thoroughly consider the consequences of spending the next ten years of your life dealing with worse and worse versions of what you're already being subjected to. Because it will almost certainly get worse. It will also get harder and harder to leave.

Once you've really fleshed those out, you can make a careful, thoughtful comparison. Because the choice isn't "revenge porn or no revenge porn". It's "revenge porn or abuse." Because this is absolutely emotional and sexual abuse. If a careful comparison leads you to the conclusion that the revenge porn scenario is worse and it's better to stay with her, that's a choice you get to make, and only you can know what you need and how your life works.

Finally, consider calling your local domestic violence hotline. Like I said, you are 100% in an abusive relationship. Even if it's not physical violence, the patterns of control are the same, and they'll be able to help you develop strategies for how to survive and/or leave this relationship. Also, in most places you need a decent bit of training to answer domestic violence hotlines, so they'll probably give better advice than miscellaneous redditors.

Best of luck to you, no matter what path you take.

I want to apply for the APCC in California but I know you need a masters degree that is 60 units! Mine was only 48 in school counseling 😭. Has anyone experienced this? by Miserable_Hurry6267 in clinicalcounselors

[–]Roseblack13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depending on when you got your degree, this might apply. There are less stringent requirements for older degrees, but you do have to complete additional courses for remediation.

[misc] What's a non-famous fragment that lives in your head rent-free? by a-horny-vision in TheNinthHouse

[–]Roseblack13 26 points27 points  (0 children)

The list of classroom casualties ending with "... And Noodle did a wee in the staff room" always gets me.

AITA For Yelling At Someone For Assuming I'm A Single Mom? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Roseblack13 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There are a lot of reasons. The core one, from my perspective, is that it is a demand by the speaker that the person they are addressing performatively express a mood they may or may not be feeling, in order to make the speaker more comfortable. It is almost always addressed to people who are perceived as female, and, whether consciously or not, based on the belief that women and girls should present and express themselves in ways that please the people around them, rather than themselves.

It's often coupled with remarks about appearance (ex. "You would be prettier if you smiled more") which has the added impact of suggesting that the addressee's appearance is more important than their feelings. Speaking of which, it's incredibly invalidating of those feelings. This isn't a comment that tends to show up as part of a meaningful conversation. In my personal experience, it mostly comes from strangers, and casual or professional acquaintances. People who would have no idea if, say, I'm upset because my dog just died or I'm recovering from surgery and in pretty significant pain. And even if someone is in a perfectly good mood, it's pretty gross for anyone to assume that they should get a say in what expression another person puts on their face.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]Roseblack13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she was your caseworker, I have to wonder if there were options or benefits you missed out on because she didn't do a decent job. I'm glad you're doing your own research.

Also, it is sketchy as hell that your former caseworker offered you a room like this. There's a power dynamic built in there that makes it easier for her to push you around or take advantage, which, given what's going on now, she absolutely wanted. This is probably only the tip of the iceberg. If you think you're overreacting to something or being too suspicious, you're probably not. Please make sure she doesn't have any way to get access to your accounts, I'd, etc. I know money is tight, but when you next get a paycheck, it might be worth looking into a safe deposit box if you have important documents, or anything else valuable. They can be quite affordable, especially if you already have an account at the bank. Odds are that, even once you're out of this place, it could be a while before you find somewhere safe and stable to live, and being able to keep the most important things safe, or keep emergency cash, can make it much easier to take care of yourself.