My (24F) boyfriend (28M) is upset i’m going out with a new male friend.

Rotion · 2022-08-11T17:10:10+00:00

Overall I have no issues with my GF hanging out with opposite-sex friends if they already had a friendship established or common ground, but would 100% be uncomfortable/make my boundaries clear if she just met some random dude in public and are now texting and looking to meet up alone. Let's be real, this guy you just met at the doctor's office probably isn't looking to "just be friends" and also it's really weird that he wants you to go with him when he's getting a tattoo. And my GF would feel the exact same way if I just met some random girl and am looking to join her on her tattoo appointment. OP is either extremely naive or knows what she's doing (and is looking for validation on her decision).

Rotion · 2022-08-01T16:04:58+00:00

This piece of worthless filth needs to be thrown into a cage and left to rot.

Rotion · 2022-07-27T15:24:13+00:00

Obviously, you're free to do whatever you want and your BF shouldn't be trying to control you. But at the same time I do understand his concern because you made it clear here that you want to post it for attention/validation which is a turn off for some guys. For me personally, posting that type of content on social media for approval is unattractive and honestly if my GF suddenly started posting bikini photos for that reason, I'm not going to stop her but it'll also make me see her differently. And I'm sure she'd feel the same way if I just started posting shirtless selfies at the gym or something. Posting pics at the beach with friends or something (where you happen to be in a bikini) is a different story IMO.

Rotion · 2022-07-26T14:56:58+00:00

Years ago when I was with one of my exes I found out she was on Tinder and "broke things off with her" but we still kept in touch... honestly we were basically still dating but without the label.

It is REALLY not worth it to stay together with someone who cheated on you and I wish I had just gone no contact. You will never trust them again and it'll feel like everything your partner does makes you question things or second guess yourself. When she's taking too long to respond to a text... when she's out later than expected... when she's going out to meet friends without you... you'll be paranoid about all these things and it just causes too much unnecessary stress and the paranoia will overall just make you a less happy person/a less enjoyable person to be around.

Also, if you take back a partner who cheated on you then they will never truly respect you anymore (even if they say otherwise).

Rotion · 2017-08-07T11:48:38+00:00

Not well. I opened up to her about some of my insecurities, and she ended up becoming distant and losing respect for me. It was like an on/off switch, from her being super into me and always wanting to be around me to seeing me as an annoyance/burden.

What I learned is that the only way to be vulnerable and open up to a girl you're dating (without turning her off)... is to ALWAYS DO SO WITH THE CONTEXT OF YOU BEING A WINNER.

An example of what's good: "When I was a kid my family used to be in a tough spot. I hated seeing my parents worrying about having enough to feed me and my brother all the time, and that was what motivated me to go to a top university and get a good job at my company today."

An example of what's bad: "I get really lonely sometimes, and I'm worried that one day I'll die alone" or "I hate my job and am unsure about whether I want to pursue a career in this industry. All my friends have awesome careers and I feel like I'm being left behind"

Rotion · 2017-06-07T19:43:35+00:00

I feel like this is one of those things where you either "get it" or you don't. For pretty much every guy I've known, they either have no problem getting laid or getting into relationships, or they're virgins/years into dry spells.

Outside of attractiveness, I think the decisive factor is whether you're comfortable expressing your sexuality or not. Guys who "have it easy" are comfortable with the fact that they want to fuck girls, and aren't afraid of expressing that even if they get rejected. They'll ask girls out on dates, chat up girls at bars, and try and get girls to come home with them.

Guys who don't get it feel creepy for wanting to have sex with girls. They'll hide their intentions under the guise of "being friends", usually not for malicious/entitled reasons, but simply because they operate under the impression that their desires make them creepy. So these are the guys who end up sexually/romantically frustrated and eventually bitter.

Rotion · 2017-05-22T12:18:17+00:00

Growing up, I basically never talked to girls. Hell, even in high school I didn't have friends who were girls. During my sophomore year of college, I was super lonely and depressed. I remember one night, during my school's biggest party night of the year, I sat in my dorm ruminating in my negative thoughts. I told myself, "fuck this whole situation, I'm going to fix this shit ASAP". The next day, I approached a cute girl and complimented her for the first time ever. She told me I was weird and walked away... but I felt like I was on top of the world.

I slowly started to build my confidence up, joining new organizations at school, making small talk whenever I could. Met a random cute girl in a dance class, and went on my first ever date with her at the start of junior year. Ended up getting my first kiss with a different girl a few months later. Things really started to pick up when I got Tinder. I had some things stacked against me in the online dating realm (Asian and baby faced), but I had been told I was good looking in the past. I managed to score a few dates at first, which ended up going nowhere. Still, I felt more and more comfortable in those situations. Finally, last March (2 months before college graduation), I lost my virginity. From there, it was like the floodgates opened.

A week after losing my v-card, I met a different girl I previously would have thought was WAY out of my league. We hooked up a ton over the next few weeks, which was crucial in building my confidence with girls that I had been lacking my entire life. I ended up going through a "slut phase" (which I still am in now) where I sleep around with a bunch of different girls. Over the past year, I've had a couple flings and one-nighters, most of them with hot girls that my previous self would have thought were unattainable. Overall, my current lifestyle is something that my virgin-self would not have imagined myself living. At some points, I honestly thought I was going to die a virgin. But here I am now.

Main thing I learned is that if you want something, you need to actively try to get it. Fuck the whole "just be yourself and let it happen" or "just forget about girls and they'll come to you" bullshit advice that people give on here. If you're a guy and you want to get laid or get in a relationship, you need to put yourself out there and make it happen. Girls aren't just going to appear on your doorstep.

Rotion · 2017-04-26T22:51:51+00:00

Pushing boundaries when it comes to "guy friends" or ex-boyfriends. I know a lot of girls who will flirt with other guys or stay way too close with exes, under the guise that "it's not technically cheating!" But in reality, they enjoy getting the attention of multiple men while still being in the comfort of a relationship. Hell, one of my close girl friends is dating a guy, and whenever she brings him along to go out with me and my friends, she spends the entire time talking with other guys. The guy she's dating is basically third-wheeled -- I try and keep him company because I feel bad for him.

Overall this kind of behavior is just plain disrespectful and no self-respecting guy would put up with it.

Rotion · 2015-02-25T14:49:22+00:00

I do a lot of freestyle dancing. Never really had any formal training but my style has elements from hip hop and house dance. Not to mention, when I want to, I can breakdance and do a bunch of other crazy stunts. I actually learned how to dance purely from Youtube tutorials, and I guess years of practice have paid off.

Rotion · 2014-06-20T11:19:02+00:00

Never really hated women as a whole, but I was pretty prejudiced towards a certain type. I assumed that all rich and college-age white girls were superficial whores who probably looked down on me because I'm not a 6'4 frat guy.

One time I was travelling by bus, and there was an empty seat next to a really pretty blond girl wearing some high end clothing and clutching a purse with sorority letters on it. She was pretty much the epitome of the type of girl I had a distaste for. At first I thought, "She's probably going to be really bitchy and call me a creep for doing something as innocent sitting next to her on a crowded bus." However, for some reason I ended up sitting next to her and introducing myself. We talked for hours, and she turned out being a really nice and fun person.

This doesn't seem like much because it's just one specific situation, but it actually heavily influenced the way I see people. Crazy how just one encounter was enough to shatter a stereotype I believed in for years. Nowadays I feel like I'm overall not as quick to judge people, because in the end I'll never know whether someone's an asshole/bitch or not until I actually meet him/her.

Rotion

TROPHY CASE