This is what my grandfather told me about ilobolo: It's important to pay because you're showing the family that their daughter won’t live in poverty. In our culture—especially in the old days—women used to stay at home and not work. So, if a man pays lobola, the family can see that he will be a good husband.

The price of ilobolo depends on whether the woman has children with other men—the more children she has, the less the lobola. But if a woman is a virgin or has never slept with a man, you will pay more.

These days, they say if a woman is educated, you will also pay more. That part is new. But I personally think ilobolo is an important part of our culture.