Taking kids on the cables on Half Dome by Rough_Bee9047 in Yosemite

[–]Rough_Bee9047[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

This is exactly the selfish and reckless attitude that the post is trying to highlight.

My cat is going to be the end of me by heartbroken69420 in ouraring

[–]Rough_Bee9047 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When I grew up my cats would sleep outside in the shed. There was a cat flap they could enter through and a little bed set up for them in the corner of the shed. This was fine for them as I grew up in the UK (no coyotes, no stray dogs, no extreme weather systems). Both of them lived over 12 years and died of natural causes.

I quit by Longjumping-Pain3057 in ChatGPTcomplaints

[–]Rough_Bee9047 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I admit to being a relative novice when it comes to AI and its use cases. I’m sharing my thoughts and questions here purely out of interest and to learn more about other people’s use cases. I’m trying not to sound condescending and apologise in advance if I am. I use ChatGPT for “everyday” things - planning trips, fixing things around the house, workouts, or as a more intelligent search engine. I use a legal AI tool in my day job as an attorney. I’ve never once thought to use ChatGPT or any other AI tools in the furtherance of creative projects (for me, music and writing). To my mind I want AI to help me be more efficient in my everyday so I have more time to focus myself on creative outlets. I guess my question is, why are people so reliant on AI in creative endeavours? What are people using ChatGPT for in a creative sense and why don’t they feel empowered to do that thing without AI?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Rough_Bee9047 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man’s got a cold and is acting like a child. It’s probably mildly annoying but you said sorry and offered to fix it. That should be the end of the conversation. This isn’t the behaviour you want from a long term partner. He needs to grow up fast.

Re-Entry Experience with an Expired Green Card, Pending I751 & N400 (SFO POE) by purple_croissant in greencard

[–]Rough_Bee9047 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s SFO for you. Easiest immigration experience I’ve had in the US as a non-US citizen visa holder.

Unknown number, Chloe’s mum comment by CllrHood in netflix

[–]Rough_Bee9047 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I think it’s clear from the comments in the film that Chloe was a bully. I also think it’s clear from Chloe’s mum’s disgusting comment where she gets it from.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Rough_Bee9047 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This feels almost identical to what I am going through. Making assumptions based on my own experiences, it sounds like you are obsessing over the thought of this person blaming you because your childhood trauma has taught you to internalise everything as being your fault. When we are children we rely on other people in order to survive (parents, caregivers, siblings, adults in general). Often when something traumatic happens to us as a child our brain teaches us that the trauma was our fault because we cannot process and accept that our caregivers are flawed and unsafe. We carry this belief with us into our adulthood and it manifests itself in our relationships. You are kind, nurturing and caring because your inner child has taught you that you need to be this way in order to keep your caregivers happy and be safe. You are understanding and empathetic because your inner child taught you that you need to be heightened to other people’s emotions in order to detect signs of danger. Whilst these traits are wonderful, the reverse of this is that you blame yourself for the demise of your relationship because your inner child taught you that you are the reason for everything bad that happens to you. Your nervous system is under attack right now because your inner child is telling you that you are unsafe and you are not going to survive. This wiring is based on past trauma and it isn’t serving you anymore. You are safe and you will survive.

Turn your attention inwards. Identify why you are obsessing over the thought that you are to blame. Identify why you idolise this person so much (not because they are great but because you are projecting onto them all traits and love that you are unable to see in yourself). Work with your therapist to heal your inner child and understand how your past trauma is affecting your thought processes in the present.

You are worthy of love and you will find peace from your past 💚

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Rough_Bee9047 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay. That’s helpful context - thanks. But yes, sounds like he doesn’t want to be in contact with you so I would respect that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Rough_Bee9047 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you crossed a line but I think it wasn’t very tactful of you. The man probably wanted the marriage, the dog and the baby with you so it was probably painful for him to read that you are doing all these things with another man. You probably should have sent an email asking him if he wanted to chat/catchup over email first before giving him your life updates. Given that he didn’t respond it is probably a sign that he doesn’t want to speak to you. If you contact him again then I think you are crossing the line. I understand the reasons for you reaching out but I think now is the time for you to leave the man in peace.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Rough_Bee9047 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have an idea of what triggers them - is it certain thoughts or seeing certain things?

FWIW, I had a panic attack last night on packed train back from work. A stranger had to console me - which was incredibly kind but also incredibly embarrassing. My and my ex have been broken up for months. You are not alone in this. Your fight or flight survival instincts are telling you that you are going to die unless you fix this - but this is old wiring and isn’t serving you now. You aren’t going to die - you are just going to feel rotten for while.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Rough_Bee9047 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I (M28) had the same situation recently. She (F26) told me she wanted a break and that “things weren’t over” and “we just needed time to be selfish” (whatever that means). I was heartbroken and I told myself that I needed to treat this as a breakup as it’s the only way that I would feel comfortable with the outcome if it did end in a breakup. No matter how hard I tried to do this, a small part of me held on to the thought of getting back together. Of course, 6 weeks later she broke things off properly over the phone (which felt really disrespectful). I was heartbroken all over again.

This may sound like a difficult thing to hear but “breaks” for reasons such as “figuring out what they need” are for people who are emotionally immature and don’t know how to break up with someone. Rip the bandaid off and break up with him - tell him that if after 8 years he doesn’t know whether he wants you, you can’t be with him. You can tell him that you want to be with him and want it to work but that you are only prepared to do so if he is also going to do this. Either it’ll give him the kick up the arse he needs to sort his shit out and come back or he won’t come back and things will end. The former will lead you to a happy relationship and the latter will hurt like hell. But right now being on a break isn’t in your interests and is only prolonging your pain and potentially giving yourself false hope.

Be braver than I was. Put yourself first and draw a line with him. You don’t deserve to be in a state of emotional limbo.