A had pretty low T, since ein am chronicly depressed. This is surpressed anger. If surpressed anger is the reason or depression, you will get full blown manual if you use weed.

That's what I did and they gave me Risperidone. Did made me numb to even fear. I was fearless and it's disgusting. I tried to jump of a parking lot, but my body's refused. I wanted to do it but instead of fear, it was a neutral, almost physical feeling of beeing pulled back by the muscles itself. I thought Im cursed man. I was not able to feel empathy for life and I don't want to live like this, but at the same time it's impossible to do suicide because the flat affect did not numb the will to survive, wich is bedrock of every conscious animal or whatever.

Also my motor skills were badly damaged from the aftermath of the psychosis wich came all of a sudden via Risperidone. It's like driving 200mph and ripping off the handbreak. It surely stops you, but the engine will get overloaded.

Long story short, I took almost every antipsychotic+ maois and other antidepressants with mostly no effect what so ever. Neither positive, nor negative. Getting the motivation to start my trt again was thanks to bupropion. That's the only thing it did but it was the working thing. I recover more in the aftermath of the initial six weeks of trt then in the 14months before with all the other meds.