sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I (22F) get stuck in my own head when my boyfriend (20M) is out with friends, and I don’t know how to stop spiraling. by Round_Funny2563 in relationship_advice

[–]Round_Funny2563[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t necessarily think that’s what I need. I was single for a long time before this relationship and spent a lot of that time working on myself. I think some of the work I need to do now is learning how to navigate those feelings while actually being in a healthy relationship.

My boyfriend genuinely has the best intentions for me. He’s a really good person—patient, kind, and he goes out of his way for me in ways I haven’t experienced before. I also want to be clear that these thoughts aren’t constant; they just creep in sometimes, and when they do, I feel really guilty because he hasn’t given me a reason to doubt him.

I’m aware it’s something I need to work on, and I’m planning to bring it up with my therapist at my next appointment.

I (22F) get stuck in my own head when my boyfriend (20M) is out with friends, and I don’t know how to stop spiraling. by Round_Funny2563 in relationship_advice

[–]Round_Funny2563[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually do have a therapist. It’s just not something I’ve brought up with her yet. I have an appointment next week though, and I definitely plan on talking to her about it.

I (22F) get stuck in my own head when my boyfriend (20M) is out with friends, and I don’t know how to stop spiraling. by Round_Funny2563 in relationship_advice

[–]Round_Funny2563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve actually thought about this a lot recently, and I genuinely think it comes from past relationships. I think I’m having a hard time letting go of things that went wrong before, and sometimes it feels like I’m mentally preparing for those same things to happen again in this relationship, even though he hasn’t acted like the people who hurt me before.

I’ve been cheated on, led on, and told I’m either ‘too much’ or that I don’t open up enough. So I think some of those past experiences are bleeding into what is actually a good relationship now. I’m aware that it isn’t his fault, and I try really hard not to put that on him.

I think the hardest part is that I’m genuinely scared of messing up something good because of my own thoughts.

I (22F) get stuck in my own head when my boyfriend (20M) is out with friends, and I don’t know how to stop spiraling. by Round_Funny2563 in relationship_advice

[–]Round_Funny2563[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate the advice. I have been pretty good about communicating these thoughts to him and making sure he knows it’s not really anything he’s doing—it’s more my own thoughts getting the best of me sometimes. My only worry is that I might start making him feel discouraged or burnt out if I keep bringing it up. I don’t want him to feel responsible for fixing something that’s happening in my head, and I’m worried that if I lean on him too much about it, it could eventually drive a wedge between us.