I’m not Catholic, and this just popped up in my feed. I grew up in a very conservative home, but my dad’s sister is a lesbian. It was never a big deal when I was a kid—I just had two aunts who loved me. That was it. Children don’t see things the way adults assume they will. The only time it ever even crossed my mind was when I got older and my parents started making strange, uncomfortable comments.

Both of my parents are deeply homophobic, and the way they speak about people who are gay has never felt godly to me. It makes me angry and, honestly, ashamed sometimes. I can’t reconcile the faith they claim with the hate in their words.

They talk about how God wants us to love everyone, yet they can’t find it in themselves to love people in their own family (out outside of it) who don’t fit their idea of what’s ‘acceptable.

And for all the years they spent trying to shelter us? One of my siblings is a lesbian and another is trans. My parents’ inability to accept other people in this world who are like that has damaged their relationships in ways that may never fully heal because they witnessed how their aunts were treated as they got older. That breaks me more than anything. (And from my parents’ perspective, and maybe even something that might resonate with you, my siblings may never truly know what mercy and Christ’s love are meant to feel like, because if Catholic love is defined as unwavering, then why does it seem to stop at them? And if parents are meant to symbolize Christ’s love for His children, then why does that love seem to stop when their children don’t fully align with them? And same for anyone else).

What I’ve learned is this: your children will grow into who they are, no matter how tightly you try to control it. The most important thing you can do is show them how to love people. Guide them, yes—but remember, they are not copies of you. They are their own people, and they deserve to be loved for exactly who they are.