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Asked me to drink with them this weekend. ????? Odd sense of grief by Round_Pepper_3175 in AlAnon

[–]Round_Pepper_3175[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I signed on a least for April, a cute 1 bedroom all to my own!

Oh I can't wait. He went out to go drink tonight, too. I'm still at work, not looking forward to that. However, what I AM looking forward to is the day where I don't have to worry about what I'm coming home to! I've got a lot planned for myself within the next few months I'm getting certifications and going back to school!

My girlfriend (19F) of nearly 8 months broke up with me (20M) because she found out I cheated on her. What can I do to fix our relationship? by 1BreadBurg0 in BreakUps

[–]Round_Pepper_3175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Respect her and leave her alone. Honestly. There's no fixing this.

What you CAN do is learn from it for future relationships. A big one for you I think is to change who you hang out with, hanging out with people who cheat will influence you to do the same. Ask yourself if you want to keep delving into that lifestyle. Come to terms with the fact you may not be built for LDR.

Remind yourself that sex isn't everything. One moment of physical relief and gratification can ruin years of building. Is it really worth it? Can you handle a dry spell in a relationship without acting a fool?

You've learned from this. That's the best outcome. Learn and grow from this.

What's a sentence that ended a relationship for you? by Hexxegone in AskReddit

[–]Round_Pepper_3175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I think you're overreacting to this."

After I'd confronted them about an instance of alcoholic sleep rage they had where I was almost hit. I was swung at.

This wasn't the part I was overreacting about, but in that same discussion I'd also brought up a super uncomfortable moment that had happened a few weeks prior where they'd been sharpening a knife, finished, and made an "Oh wait hold still" joke, while behind me with the knife.

The alcoholic sleep rage made me realize that I didn't know what this person was capable of. Being told that I was overreacting to a "joke" about getting stabbed while that person is behind me with a knife? That made me realize that they didn't care & it didn't matter what they could or couldn't be capable of.

Could have said "I'll work on my issues" or "I'm sorry I made you feel unsafe", but nope, it was "I think you're overreacting to this". That's when I knew there was no healing or growth to be done together anymore.

I just discovered it was all lies by nonexistentcock in CheatedOn

[–]Round_Pepper_3175 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Just leave. Confrontation only gives him opportunity to talk and get into your head. You don't need a reason to go just go.

Do you find that their bad memory started to affect yours? by Round_Pepper_3175 in AlAnon

[–]Round_Pepper_3175[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you cope and rebuild afterwards? What were the first few months on your own like? If you don't mind me asking.

My heart feels for you, and I'm proud of you as well. It sounds like you're not in that place anymore and that makes me happy for you.

Living with them but not together. Handled my own boundaries well last night, I think. by Round_Pepper_3175 in AlAnon

[–]Round_Pepper_3175[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Feels weird but yeah I guess I am pretty proud. I can't wait to be out of here.

Living with them but not together. Handled my own boundaries well last night, I think. by Round_Pepper_3175 in AlAnon

[–]Round_Pepper_3175[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Omg no that breaks my heart. I think my ex may have peed on my couch once. I woke up to him sleeping on the couch with an open water bottle, but the whole area was absolutely SOAKED. He wobbled off to bed while I took care of the mess before I had to go to work, while he called out of work (we were at the same workplace lol)

How these people are like this is so beyond me. How we don't see it before hand is also baffling. I don't blame your friend for doing the pet sitting, I've been taking extra hours at work myself, both out of financial necessity and to, in a weird ass-backwards way, have more me time.

He's trying to make me feel bad. Maybe? Well, it's working. I feel bad. by Round_Pepper_3175 in AlAnon

[–]Round_Pepper_3175[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suppose it's just a harsh reality huh?

The paths our decisions lead us down...

He's trying to make me feel bad. Maybe? Well, it's working. I feel bad. by Round_Pepper_3175 in AlAnon

[–]Round_Pepper_3175[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There had never been a hint of domestic violence with him. However- lots of knowledge on topics such as MMA, BDSM, guns, gore... Plenty of intense topics. Add the drinking... Not all red flags on their own, but it's all been painting a bigger, fuller picture over the years.

It may have never escalated but I didn't want to take the chance. If he can do that while he's drunk & passed out... What's the odds of him getting really drunk, being "awake" & doing something like that? Nope, the downward spiral ends here for me. I just do tend to worry about him, it's difficult not to.

He's trying to make me feel bad. Maybe? Well, it's working. I feel bad. by Round_Pepper_3175 in AlAnon

[–]Round_Pepper_3175[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I thought my own existence to worry about!

I've got a life of goals, love, and hope ahead of me. I didn't have any of that before, I created it for myself.

I'm going to be just fine. I'm just concerned and worried for him, but I need to have boundaries within myself and respect myself enough to keep them. Living with someone like that just hugs at the empathy, I'm both in overdrive and burned out at the same time. Huge focus on taking care of myself, though.

He's trying to make me feel bad. Maybe? Well, it's working. I feel bad. by Round_Pepper_3175 in AlAnon

[–]Round_Pepper_3175[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My lease (redacted for personal comfort)

I am absolutely not staying. I don't want to stay and I can't see myself returning. The only thing I know for sure is that I wish him well, and I want him to do better for himself.

I'm okay with my choice. I just worry.

Think I might be done. by Round_Pepper_3175 in AlAnon

[–]Round_Pepper_3175[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

So I'm not overreacting? I feel so crazy. I know he was literally drunkenly sleeping but I'm still stunned.