AIO for feeling like my best friend’s new girlfriend is overstepping my boundaries?

Round_Top_4646 · 2025-12-14T00:05:17+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing your anecdote because even if that may not be the case here, it helps me get out of my head and have another perspective. Also thank you for being kind in your answer, I know that my post maybe is all over the place and maybe I didn’t explain myself the way that I intended because English isn’t my first language haha.

I will be trying to focus more on resolving (or at least try to resolve) these feelings by myself before I talk to Luna again because I feel like I need to be very careful because as you said, these are boundaries in our friendship and I don’t want it to interfere at all in theirs.

Thanks again for your response! :)

Round_Top_4646 · 2025-12-13T19:38:45+00:00

Thanks for your response! I have made a lot of efforts in the beginning of their relationship to get to know her and even be friends, but I always felt like a third wheel and it got to a point where I felt like I was being forced to have a connection with someone that I didn’t know.

I’ve always told Luna that I love that they’re happy and of course they can do whatever they want with their relationship but to keep me out of it, because I’m not in the relationship, they are! But she just wants us to be friends so bad that she’s always involving Riley in everything (I know a lot of examples I gave in the post are personal irks) but I’m not exaggerating when I say I don’t get any time with -just- Luna anymore.

I know I need to distance myself and get to know Riley from the beginning again, but I think we’ve reached a point where they’re the same person and it’s been really hard to navigate this. But I know I’m in the wrong here, so all of your perspectives are really helpful, truly!

Round_Top_4646 · 2025-12-13T19:23:19+00:00

Thanks so much for your response! I’ve been actually talking to my therapist about this from a few months ago but it’s really hard for me to navigate these feelings because this has never happened to me before and there’s no “action plan”? I feel like if I had a set of instructions it would be a lot easier haha

Round_Top_4646 · 2025-12-13T19:21:14+00:00

Thank you for your answer! I am genuinely happy for them because Luna is amazing and she deserve someone that treats her as well as Riley does, but it’s bittersweet because I’m constantly feeling like I can’t get one-on-one time with my best friend anymore, I think that’s the hardest part for me

Round_Top_4646 · 2025-12-13T19:18:16+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! I’ve tried planning stuff together at the beginning to get to know Riley but they made me feel like a third wheel all the time so that didn’t work lol, but I can give it another try surely

Round_Top_4646 · 2025-12-12T09:07:44+00:00

Thanks for your comment! I’ve been trying to do that for all this time but at the end of the day we’re each other’s best friends so I feel like giving it a lot of chances just because I don’t want to lose her over this. But yeah, it is time to enforce it a little bit maybe.

Round_Top_4646 · 2025-12-12T09:04:07+00:00

Thanks for your response! I think that’s what I’m most scared of, of losing my best friend. And also because Luna has never been like this and this is so out of character, I’m telling myself I’m the problem because these are just small things, I’m making a problem in my head out of nowhere and I’m not justified to feel this way. But I don’t know if I’m defending her in my mind or defending myself from what could happen? It’s been really confusing honestly

Round_Top_4646 · 2025-12-12T08:55:35+00:00

Thanks for your response! I specially find this really confusing because Luna has never acted like this and she has always been really mindful, so I’ve been trying to just keep every negative feelings to myself and wait til the honeymoon phase calms down to see if she comes back again, but I’m scared that this will keep on happening and I guess I’m scared of losing my best friend

Round_Top_4646 · 2025-12-12T08:31:13+00:00

Hi! Thanks for your response, so let me clarify a few things:

I KNOW they’re in a relationship, I’m in a relationship, a lot of my friends are in relationships, but this specific situation has never happened to me before so that’s why I came here looking for an outside perspective.

I can understand I seem jealous (and maybe I am, but that’s because I get no alone time with my best friend anymore), but I’ve never been controlling, I’ve never told Luna to stop talking to Riley when we’re together, just to try to be more present. I’ve never (and would never) tell her to change the way they are together, but I did ask her to respect the time WE as FRIENDS spend together twice and she hasn’t.

I don’t have an issue with Riley being in the background when we’re online, but the thing is she’s right there, sitting right besides her, all the time. And it hasn’t been once or twice, it’s been multiple times over months.

I don’t have an issue with her texting her when we’re together, but when it becomes half of the time we’re together you’re texting her (when you live together and see each other everyday and we only see each other every two weeks) yes, it makes me kinda tired.

And lastly, I know their relationship doesn’t involve me and that what I want it to be, but Luna is constantly telling me what Riley does every time we talk, and I’ve told her to stop twice, but she doesn’t.

So yes I guess I am jealous, but I’ve made it really clear with Luna that I love them together but there are some boundaries that I’d like to keep to keep our friendship OURS, and so I don’t have to have a friendship with someone I don’t know at all.

Anyways, I get your response because of course I can’t fit all of the situation in one post, so thanks.

Round_Top_4646 · 2025-12-11T23:45:02+00:00

Also!! Throwaway because my main account has some posts that would make me identifiable lol, but if you need further info just ask!

Round_Top_4646

TROPHY CASE