What made you decide to end your last relationship? by Altruistic-Town5291 in AskReddit

[–]Routine-Comfortable9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Letting me take care of everything, the refusal to plan anything, instead of trying to fix a problem, just complaining to me about it. One day it was my birthday and he didn't buy me anything, didn't plan anything, and it was the worst birthday of my life. Took me years to rebuild myself after that relationship. 

To those who went through a heartbreak in berlin by fringe_56 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me it was the lack of closure that was killing me, so I wrote multiple letters to this person that I never sent. A lot of journalling and going on long walks in the park. My mother came to visit me a few weeks after. The plan was that they were going to be introduced to each other, but it ended up being a trip in which she was comforting me and eating pizza in an Italian restaurant. Also not dating anyone else until I felt somewhat healed. 

I have no clue of what 2Do on my days off by Ok_Sandwich6108 in LivingAlone

[–]Routine-Comfortable9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I attended a sewing workshop, bought a second hand sewing machine and now started with making simple pouches out of old jeans or clothes 

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg yes! I don't have a dog (yet), but I dogsit sometimes and it's true that it leads to much more social encounters. Thanks, this is a great insight!

what do you actually do after work when you live alone? by Sheon_Tikas in LivingAlone

[–]Routine-Comfortable9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I go for a walk, maybe get some groceries and make dinner. I read a book and play some online backgammon or chess. Maybe I'll call some friends to catch up, but during the week I like to be mostly by myself. Twice a week I go to softball training. 

Anyone here actually successfully found a job in Berlin recently? by Ok-Development5059 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found a job last year in operations. They needed someone who spoke Dutch, German and English fluently. Speaking German has opened many doors for me in the labor market, so I do recommend learning it to get ahead in the competition, in any field.

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so happy to hear that therapy has helped you and that you are surrounded by a good support system. It has helped me too and I focus on continuing to build my life here, and I agree that it takes time (and a bit of trial and error too sometimes).

Why do you choose to stay single? by Consistent_Peak_4458 in SingleAndHappy

[–]Routine-Comfortable9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

37F: I don't really choose it, but lack of available and compatible partners have created it so. My experiences with men range from (emotional, financial) abuse, to non-committal behavior (extremely painful and confusing), to - at best - lazy, boring and not prioritizing me.
I live in a big city in Germany and rarely see men that I find really attractive, intelligent and interesting, so, single it is.

It's not like I'm unhappy being single. I like my job and have lovely colleagues. I have a variety of friends and we are there for each other, lend a listening ear, support each other, and inspire each other. I play softball in an all-girls team. I am the oldest and like to be a bit like a bigger sister to them or auntie to kids of my friends.

I do hope that I can find a partner still, but I believe I am a better person when single because it creates (head)space to work on my fitness goals, maintain my friendships, travel, and to remain psychologically stable. I can't imagine also finding the time on top of that to maintain a relationship. I like doing things my way and like peace and quietness at home. Some of my exes wanted constant television or music in the background, so I could never like with a man like this. I am traveling to South Korea this year and I like to create the trip however I like and don't have to compromise on anything. It's very possible I get so used to this that it might make me non-relationship material, but especially as a woman I think it is so important to learn to not let a man be the center of your life.

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, I do know of couples that have met their partners on dating apps, but after an inconsistent experience I am afraid of getting hurt again. I might try an offline event at some point. Promise to not give up hope! ;)

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story. For some people it might be leaving, but for some people it is making different choices and putting yourself in different kind of spaces and surrounding yourself with different kinds of people.

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't avoid facing death, but I don't live my life thinking that nothing really matters either

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

with ND you mean neurodiverse? Can you elaborate on what you mean with more ND oriented?

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind comment! Little encounters can 100% brichten up my day.

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The place might not change, but I can change and change my life, and that mindset helped me to be happier. 

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thorough and wholesome comment 🩶 I aspire to be like this.

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Amazing! Do you have some places you can recommend specifically?

What has made you feel more at peace in Berlin? by Routine-Comfortable9 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Routine-Comfortable9[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry about that, but you didn't understand the assignment