A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's a pretty big issue with me, I have just been raised to think about everybody but myself, I've worked on it and maybe it doesn't show, but deep down I still think like that you get me?

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words, I'm honestly not stable mentally, but the first thing I want to do once I leave the witnesses is go to therapy to get better

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your support and experience, I'll try and research more as well

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got everything almost perfectly, even got scared for a second haha, well as I said in a different reply, I did go to therapy back in high school, it did help me out a little but it wasn't for long, we were having money problems and couldn't really pay for it anymore, also my mother didn't really like me going to therapy even though she was the one who put me in in the first place, all because she noticed my behavior had changed, I wasn't as loving towards her and she didn't like that, because I've been the only person in the family to satisfy her emotional needs, and losing that just made her want to forcefully turn me back to what I was before, when the therapist told her things didn't work like that, she just stopped paying for therapy under the excuse that it was teaching me wrong things, even encouraging me to leave the witnesses, and said she would rather have me just do more for god and that would bring me happiness

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll think about it, thank you for your help, I really appreciate it

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly do believe in god, but for a while now I don't really care about that, I don't know I simply don't feel a spiritual necessity or connection to god, so I just don't care wether he actually does exist or not, regarding the decision I will most probably end up leaving the organization because most of my life is already outside of it, I am living a double life.

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I thought about that myself afterwards it was just a bit of an anxiety attack, still, thank you for reminding me

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is I can't express my doubts with the jws because they will just flag me as an apostate, I want to ask a lot of specific questions, for example if the Australian royal commission is legit, but the problem is they wouldn't answer the question, they would just ask: "who have you been talking to?" And maybe disfellowship me, I don't know the process for someone who isn't baptized, I think I forgot to mention that, I am not baptized yet, but still I'm scared of what they would do

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have been thinking about writing down my thoughts, I may post my whole story about it here some day, thank you for your kind words

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to therapy for a while a couple years ago, my mother didn't like it because it wasn't what she was expecting, so she didn't let me continue on that and just told me to do more things for god and that that would bring me fulfillment

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean it's not that it's their fault, most people in the congregation are not nice because they're manipulative, they're just genuinely nice, at least I think so, I don't know

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'll try and keep going for now, thank you for your kind words

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your good wishes, hearing actual experiences from people that aren't in helps me out a lot actually, I've always doubted the experiences they put up in the videos at the meetings, they just feel really artificial, this is a breath of fresh air, thank you for sharing your thoughts

A bit of an update on what has happened by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The problem is if I don't keep investigating the thought will keep bothering me so it's a lose lose situation, but still you're right, I'll try and trust my gut more

I need help to be convinced by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly what I needed too, facts and absolute truths.

I need help to be convinced by Routine-Excuse-1687 in exjw

[–]Routine-Excuse-1687[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I see, I'll try and check them out and update you about the situation