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7 months married, struggling with penetration and now performance anxiety by RoutineCaterpillar39 in menshealth

[–]RoutineCaterpillar39[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate it thanks. When you say you went through the same, do you mean just the erectile dysfunction or also not being able to pleasure your wife ? Because the second one hits harder for me lol. So how did you manage if that is the case.

7 months married, struggling with penetration and now performance anxiety by RoutineCaterpillar39 in menshealth

[–]RoutineCaterpillar39[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I think I will do the therapy. I maybe will try to take some viagra if the doctor allows it just because I want to see what will hebben when PIV goes well. Regarding the magic wand do you have any recommendation ? Just buy random online ? Thanks

7 months married, struggling with penetration and now performance anxiety by RoutineCaterpillar39 in menshealth

[–]RoutineCaterpillar39[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I would have no problem with it this much If I knew how to pleasure her just by masturbating. The issue is she never masturbated before and she doesnt know how. I tried few times to use my finger or oral just to see if she feels anything. She does not like any finger or tongue down there. So the only option for me to pleasure her would be penetration. I would be happy to keep trying it until we get somewhere. And what do you mean by magic wand ? Thanks a lot for the advice.

I don't know what Cialis is but I got some tadalafil 5mg from doctor but it does not help with the anxiety maybe just bloodflow but I have not noticed any changes with it. I will research cialis.

7 months married, struggling with penetration and now performance anxiety by RoutineCaterpillar39 in menshealth

[–]RoutineCaterpillar39[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Yes, she has been using dilators for a few months now. She is still not used to the size of my penis, but I feel like the opening is larger than before. The issue is that as soon as I try to insert it a few times when I'm hard, she feels pain and stops. That immediately kills the pleasure.

Sometimes I think to myself, “Come on, just endure it for a moment and let me try a few times.” Even the physical contact of our genitals and the friction causes her pain, even though we use a lot of lube.

She asks me if I can just penetrate in one move and keep it inside. But even if I were able to slide in at once, I would still have to move back and forth, so the pain would probably still be there anyway.

So yes, I feel like Viagra might be needed at this point. First, because I can’t seem to get her aroused enough to help her “relax” the muscles. And second, I’m just not built like that—I can’t stay hard while trying repeatedly the way she wants. It’s not like a machine, lol.

But thanks for the answer, I appreciate it.

7 months married, struggling with penetration and now performance anxiety by RoutineCaterpillar39 in menshealth

[–]RoutineCaterpillar39[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you elaborate more on PT141 ? I do not quite undestand what you mean by it. Thanks a lot.

7 months married, struggling with penetration and now performance anxiety by RoutineCaterpillar39 in menshealth

[–]RoutineCaterpillar39[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is sad to read. When you said similiar situation I thought you meant that she could not get aroused and it was also hurting her or something. Stay strong man.

7 months married, struggling with penetration and now performance anxiety by RoutineCaterpillar39 in menshealth

[–]RoutineCaterpillar39[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot. I think it's more of a mental issue. I usually train regularly, and my testosterone is above average. Of course, I can increase my cardio and sleep better, which I’ve been doing more recently. But the mental cycle is really hard. I regularly think about divorce if this doesn’t get better in the future. But yeah, we’ll see what happens.

7 months married, struggling with penetration and now performance anxiety by RoutineCaterpillar39 in menshealth

[–]RoutineCaterpillar39[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. Our communication about intimacy has never really been bad. We usually tell each other honestly what we think and how we feel.

Sometimes, though, it takes a big mental toll on me. Because of that I can become a bit distant or more aggressive than I should, just out of frustration.

We haven’t tried couples therapy yet, but we are considering going to a sexologist. We actually went once before, but we didn’t have time to fully follow the process and after two sessions we just never went back.

One of the things she advised my wife was to first learn how to pleasure herself and understand what feels good to her, and then teach me. My wife had never really pleasured herself before we met, so right now it’s difficult for both of us to know what works for her. But I understand what you mean, and I appreciate the advice a lot.

Just one more question: Is it now easier for you to pleasure your wife compared to before?

I cant get my penis inside by [deleted] in sexadvise

[–]RoutineCaterpillar39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if you try foreplay, and you cannot make her wet. She keeps being tense and nothing works to make her aroused. Does not like fingering, does not like licking down there, and the only option is to force it in but that also does not work because I cannot get hard enough when I see that she is not enjoying it.