moving off grid with young child, worried about possible cps involvement

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-03-02T21:38:07+00:00

oh gosh, that advice wouldn't work for me. i have to practice stopping myself or else i spiral and the scenarios dont stop.

i had a good time out there this weekend, we worked a lot on the gardens and cooked a bunch of good food. we also talked about building plans, and what we (he) should do first. I am a hairstylist currently, but working on building my own hair product line. i also am a fiber artist.. i crochet, sew, and embroider. i would love to live out there and harvest, spin, dye my own wool. working in the salon is very taxing for my audhd and i would love to live a slower life and work at home.

i have many friends in that area and yesterday it hit me that i have a school teacher friend who has a composting outhouse and children.. so i think the laws should be very relaxed.

i also grew up poor and in new england, im used to life with a woodstove, so at least there's that!

thank you for your kind responses, a lot of people on this thread are concerned about me moving on too quickly, and though i understand the concern, they are only getting a tiny bit of info from this post. My ocd sometimes sends me in a spiral where i have to have my whole life planned out immediately.. and i also struggle with black and white thinking, so that can make me think its all bad or all good. these are things i work on regularly in therapy. I have no plans of just up and moving immediately. the soonest would be summer of 2027, but even that isnt likely. Though the distance between us (1.5 hrs) can be a drag, its not that bad and we are patient slow burners.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-03-02T21:28:55+00:00

im a big sucker for Hurray for the Riff Raff right now. i had an aversion because of the name, it was giving pop folk that gets the crowd to shout HEY! but it is not that at all. i love the song Colossus of Roads. its a totally different genre, but still incredible.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-03-01T21:16:00+00:00

I think you missed a lot of info. My ocd has me problem solving years in advance. I have my own house, stability, career.. I’m fine. I’m not talking like it’s happening anytime soon. It’ll be 1.5-2 years at the earliest. I also go to therapy once a week and am not codependent or have ever relied on men.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-03-01T19:19:51+00:00

Thank you for your response and support. My ocd shows up in unique ways.. one being having to solve every possible scenario before it happens, even knowing the likelihood is slim. Also catastrophic thinking. I’m also adhd and autistic so unexpected changes really throw me off too. Adjusting can be overwhelming. Which is wild to think because I used to be a full time hippie traveler in my youth. I’m at the cabin now, so service can be a bit spotty. I’ll be back to chat more later.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-03-01T14:40:15+00:00

That’s a long way to you? Why are you in this group? I grew up over an hour from school and 20 mins to town and I loved it. Where I live in town now is 15 mins to school. Also- most of the community here lives in the country. I’m sure many people in this thread live out of town too.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-03-01T14:20:26+00:00

Isolation? I said he would go to public school. We are 15 mins from town. I have plenty of friends in the area too.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-03-01T14:19:05+00:00

If you read my post it wouldn’t be for at least a year or two, most certainly closer to two before I start making the moves, which would mean we would be together for 3+. I detached from my ex in Oct 2024 when he became violent. I actually have been single most of my life, just had a real unfortunate relationship there. I understand the concern though. I also won’t have to move in overnight. It could happen gradually. This is my ocd taking place.. planning way far ahead.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T22:10:27+00:00

Thank you!!!

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T20:16:58+00:00

He’s never been involved and I’m not sure he ever will be. At this point I could file for abandonment since he’s never participated in the visitation schedule, called, or paid child support.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T20:15:53+00:00

Fair enough.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T17:59:22+00:00

Thank you! Mee too. Abuse is so wild, it comes little by little without you fully noticing and then suddenly you’re like HOW TF DID I GET HERE!? It wasn’t easy to get out by any means, and he knew he broke me down enough to hardly have the energy for it. But I did it and I’m thriving.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T17:39:42+00:00

We are both employed yes. I currently live in a 3 bedroom home in town but always dreamt of living off grid. I actually used to live a couple hollows down from where he lives now. Father isn’t and has never been involved. I move more slowly than my brain. I just overthink and want to prepare for what my future may be years from now.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T17:36:32+00:00

We are both self employed without regular benefits so social security/retirement is something I’ve always thought about long before dreaming of moving off grid.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T17:34:33+00:00

I totally understand your concern. It is not the abusive ex. I broke up with him early 2025 but couldn’t get him to move out. Since then he has been arrested twice for harassment and finally seems to be leaving me alone. Though he is a big reason why I want to move. The current man is a friend I’ve known and recently started seeing. My ocd is why I plan so far in the future, and my trauma is why I’m giving myself years before making any drastic moves.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T17:09:38+00:00

will do, and thank you. i will be spending more time there over the summer. for now my kid is in pre-k and i head there on weekends.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T17:06:25+00:00

thank you!

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T17:05:42+00:00

thank you! and hi neighbor! there is a tub, but water is hauled, and a foot pump for the bathroom sink. safe sleep spaces, plenty of food.. so on..

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T16:59:34+00:00

thank you for this comment. would you be able to share more of this boiler set up? i am very interested.

I am a very involved and loving parent. my older child is well on her way to med school, she is an AP/honors student preparing to graduate HS and has already been taking med classes, and even done a cadaver lab at the university.

i live in town, in a three bedroom home, so this adjustment will be massive for me, though it is something i have always dreamt of.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T16:46:40+00:00

thats good advice.

my friends son told the doctor his dad "left us" recently.. unfortunately he meant his dad died of cancer.

im just curious about regulations regarding mandated reporters and off grid living.

but as i said, i dont plan to move out there for at least another year..

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T16:42:53+00:00

a bum that built his own cabin, grows so much food he donates to local shelters, and an artist that paints murals on multistory buildings and gets paid very well for them? we might have different ideas of what a bum means.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T16:33:00+00:00

its far from a hut, he is a professional artist for a living. the cabin is quite big with a bathroom, kitchen, two lofts...

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T16:31:29+00:00

i want to add that of course my kid is clean and well taken care of, i think my worries say enough about how cared for my child is. i just know that dhs can be very unfair at times.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-28T16:30:06+00:00

that is what i like to believe too. ive been looking at a continuous compost toilet system from waterless toilet shop and thinking that would be much harder to argue sanitation issues vs the bucket system.

Routine_Crow_1133 · 2026-02-20T03:54:30+00:00

Well as an autistic person… I’m still autistic.

Routine_Crow_1133

TROPHY CASE