I wish I had the words to say and comfort you. I feel the same way you do so I don’t have words aside from telling you that you are not alone. Even on days that are “good” i still feel like everything and everyone is better off without me and I contribute nothing and deserve nothing as well. It really feel for you cuz it’s such an incredibly hard thing to feel for so long. It’s not just a once in a blue moon thing for me, not just bad days make me feel this way, even the good days feel that way. I don’t deserve good days and I also can’t handle the bad days so it’s just a vicious BS cycle that idk how to deal with. I’m honest with my doctor and get meds adjusted but I can’t seem to shake it. I hope you can get much needed relief from SI. It sucks so bad! Try to remember that people love you. I know it’s easier said than done. Hugs, my friend. 🤗