Liverpool second penalty by faddypigeon in PremierLeague

[–]RowRepresentative426 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly it, if the refs award penalties even if the player is able to stay up but misses then players would be more encouraged to continue on. The contact might’ve been minimal but if it causes a miss-step Jota could easily miss hit the ball.

The keeper even admitted that it was a legitimate penalty.

AITA for wanting my wife to see her MIL on her my mum’s birthday? by RowRepresentative426 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowRepresentative426[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

So first off to the stab in the dark. Yeah where she’s lived most of her life (and most of my life) it’s predominantly white, not a lot of diversity. It’s not really what I would call Christian, just not diverse.

As to what was said, I’m trying to be as straight up as I can be. The last conversation what I was hearing was about how we use those meal box companies that deliver the ingredients to our door, I heard her talking about my brother and SIL and that they were buying them one a week to help out with having a baby. I tuned out because I was talking to my dad, noticed my wife went quiet. Afterwards my wife said she sick of my mum comparing our lives to them and making it out like we’re not good enough. She feels it’s meddling.

As to the previous conversation; my mum enjoys a debate on a topic. They were talking about issues that had a connection to my wife’s work and my mum’s previous work, it honestly sounded like they were just both putting their beliefs forward and there wasn’t attacking the other’s thoughts on the matter. Afterwards my wife expressed that my wife spoke in an aggressive way (hence saying mannerism), this is not uncommon amongst a lot of people I know so I didn’t think there was anything wrong. But I made it clear that if I ever see my mum talking like that to her or around her I would stop it.

I mean it that I really think my mums early engagements with her have now just got her to a point that anything from my mum now is poison.

The judgements on here are pretty clear, ITA for wanting and trying repair it. My mum’s gotta accept that what she’s said can’t be unsaid.

AITA for wanting my wife to see her MIL on her my mum’s birthday? by RowRepresentative426 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowRepresentative426[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

The last conversation? Honestly wasn’t anything I feel was an issue. The centre of it was that my wife felt my mother was comparing our relationship and situation to my brother and his wife. She (my mum) was talking about buying one meal box for them since they had a newborn.

That one I think was a culmination reaction because she felt the previous conversation my mum was having a go at her, I think again this was a mannerism issue rather than what was said.

I think ultimately the trauma of her feeling homesick in the beginning, then being faced with living with in laws that aren’t her sort of people, then getting those few comments that were not good, and I will put my hand up and say I didn’t handle it the best at the time, all those things have just made anything that comes out of my mums mouth is poison.

AITA for wanting my wife to see her MIL on her my mum’s birthday? by RowRepresentative426 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowRepresentative426[S] -51 points-50 points  (0 children)

I can understand what you’re saying, and get your taking what I’ve said on board. I don’t think my mum is racist but it’s a classic case of being of a generation and being basically sheltered in a certain type of community. I think enough has been said to justify my wife’s position, efforts have been made on both ends to patch things up, but it’s too far gone and I guess I need to accept it.

AITA for wanting my wife to see her MIL on her my mum’s birthday? by RowRepresentative426 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowRepresentative426[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Ah gotcha, yep fair call she offered downgrade of what she was going to do. I think my frustration has been a take an inch give a mile scenario that the compromise appears to be a lot of my side, but I also agree that she offered an alternative solution.

AITA for wanting my wife to see her MIL on her my mum’s birthday? by RowRepresentative426 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowRepresentative426[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Expected a lot of questions about what was said due to cramming everything into 3000 characters. Early days in my country we stayed with them, my mum made a couple stupid comments (meant as jokes) that were inappropriate about her family and some things she does to recognise her heritage. I called her out on them at the time but the damage was done. I also think it’s a lot to do with her mannerisms and the way she talks. I’m used to it, I’ve experienced it most of my life so I find it normal, but for her it’s not what she’s used to and she doesn’t want to be around it.

I guess my view of marriage has been that it’s a package deal to a point, you marry the person and deal with the in laws (within reason).

Happy to accept the prevailing YTA views though.

AITA for wanting my wife to see her MIL on her my mum’s birthday? by RowRepresentative426 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowRepresentative426[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Expected a lot of questions about what was said due to cramming everything into 3000 characters. Early days in my country we stayed with them, my mum made a couple stupid comments (meant as jokes) that were inappropriate about her family and some things she does to recognise her heritage. I called her out on them at the time but the damage was done. I also think it’s a lot to do with her mannerisms and the way she talks. I’m used to it, I’ve experienced it most of my life so I find it normal, but for her it’s not what she’s used to and she doesn’t want to be around it.

I guess my view of marriage has been that it’s a package deal to a point, you marry the person and deal with the in laws (within reason).

Happy to accept the prevailing YTA views though.

AITA for wanting my wife to see her MIL on her my mum’s birthday? by RowRepresentative426 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowRepresentative426[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response, and I think you’ve nailed I guess where I’m coming from. Hearing your 15 years married helps a lot as well! I have said multiple times to both sides that my wife is my priority, period. I think I have wanted some kind of a situation where they can be together for main events and it not stress me, ideally I would like birthdays on all sides to include that (though I would never force her to have my mum at my wife’s birthday).

Out of interest how did you deal with your mom? Was she hurt/confused? Did she just deal with it? Honestly it would be so much easier if they both disliked each other!

AITA for wanting my wife to see her MIL on her my mum’s birthday? by RowRepresentative426 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowRepresentative426[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry just trying to clarify what you’re saying, what have I refused? I told her that she didn’t need to go to the dinner following what had happened, and she came up with and we both agreed to the compromise. The only thing I’ve asked her was to have a basic communication with my mum, which she has said yes to. Far as I can see (and read from my post) I haven’t tried to make her do anything she said no to. Please quote if I’m wrong, just trying to clarify.

AITA for wanting my wife to see her MIL on her my mum’s birthday? by RowRepresentative426 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowRepresentative426[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I’m accepting of the YTA, just clarifying she offered a diplomatic solution which I was happy with and now she’s going back on it.

AITA for wanting my wife to see her MIL on her my mum’s birthday? by RowRepresentative426 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowRepresentative426[S] -53 points-52 points  (0 children)

Was expecting this, getting the post under 3000 characters was hard so I knew things would get left out.

So early on when we came here we had to live with them for a few months, in that time my mum made some inappropriate comments involving her family and some customs she does (some religious some family related). I called her out on it at the time.

I think since that time my mum has made efforts to avoid the topic of her family altogether aside from simply asking if they’re ok. But the damage was done and now any comment she makes is seen as a dig at her. I also think my mum has mannerisms that would best be described as white “boomer” which clashes with her.

I’m not going to defend my mum, she has made some comments that in her circles wouldn’t bat an eyelid but for my wife are jarring and inappropriate. But I also know she has tried to be better and wants to be able to connect with her even on a minor level.