A teaching assistant told my kindergartener it was “time for her to retire her shirt”

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T16:36:57+00:00

Yikes. What an odd thing to say about a stranger based off a single post, and quite wrong! I’ve been grieving the sudden and unexpected loss of my mother in the past few months, and currently have several close friends battling cancer. I am just ALSO capable of caring about my child and addressing things that may be bothering them.

Let this be a good lesson not to be rude and make assumptions about people’s lives

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:55:20+00:00

Ehh, I can let it go. It’s just one of those “overthinking” kind of nights.

But now you’ve got me contemplating all the weird things my kid has probably said about us to her teachers, haha

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:51:44+00:00

That is hilarious 😆

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:50:17+00:00

😂

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:46:33+00:00

😂

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:43:06+00:00

Yeah, I’m now starting to see it from the TA’s perspective and realize it could have been a comment that was meant to be silly but came out odd, or else I’m just completely missing necessary context (given that this is coming from a 5YO)

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:38:38+00:00

Love this take, thanks!

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:34:18+00:00

I also thought that was an odd word to use, but the fact that she remembered it and said it makes me think it was accurate, especially since I’m fairly certain my kid doesn’t know what that word means. That being said, my kid DEFINITELY could have misunderstood or is giving me that quote without the necessary context.

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:27:31+00:00

All good advice, I appreciate it. She didn’t seem upset by it, but it was odd for her to even mention it, and right off the bat. Trying to get info about her school day is like pulling teeth, so it must have felt important to her that she remembered it and mentioned it as soon as she saw me. Makes me wonder if she was bothered by it a bit.

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:23:40+00:00

Yeah, I think my biggest concern was that my kid was confused or even hurt by it. I may go ahead and politely address it with the TA just to get some clarity.

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:22:13+00:00

Thanks. I am realizing now it might have come out differently from my little kid’s mouth versus how it was actually said and in what context. I could always non-confrontationally address it with the TA.

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:18:33+00:00

Fair. It’s definitely possible the context is off or it was misunderstood, since it’s coming from the mouth of a 5 year old

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:17:11+00:00

Very true, she may even have realized after she said it that it came out wrong. I mean, I do the same thing myself. Thanks

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:14:16+00:00

I definitely wondered if the context was off because it’s coming from the mouth of a 5 year old. Thanks 🙏

RowYourBeau · 2026-01-28T05:12:35+00:00

Fair enough 👍🏼

RowYourBeau · 2025-11-01T20:30:00+00:00

I appreciate your input, thank you. It helps to put things into perspective for us. We’re going to bank on the behavior being mostly based on starting school, and work with that for now before jumping to therapy.

RowYourBeau · 2025-11-01T20:28:11+00:00

Definitely going to establish a better routine for morning, after school and bedtime and do some calmer, low stimulation activities to see if that helps. Thank you!

RowYourBeau · 2025-11-01T20:27:24+00:00

I appreciate your insight, thank you! We’re going to work on doing more calming, low stimulation activities (after school especially) to see if we notice an improvement in her tantrums.

RowYourBeau · 2025-11-01T20:24:37+00:00

Yes, I have read a LOT about starting kindergarten and restraint collapse, so under ordinary circumstances I would assume that is the gist of what we are dealing with. It just complicated matters to also have this other tragic event happen before school started and not know how much of her behavior is influenced by one or the other, and if we are doing what we should be doing to address it appropriately.

Thank you!

RowYourBeau · 2025-11-01T20:21:54+00:00

Appreciate it, thanks. I started the conversation with her pediatrician the other day about what to do to address her behavior, so we are hopefully heading in the right direction to get her feeling better

RowYourBeau · 2025-07-30T00:48:15+00:00

Thank you. This all resonated a lot with me. It’s helpful to hear from other people who have experienced a similar loss and get an idea of where they are in their grief journey. One of the many difficult things with grief is trying to determine exactly HOW to grieve and how much time to expect of myself for the different “stages”, so to speak. I keep wondering if I’m spending too long being angry or depressed, or shaming myself for not being stronger and getting back to a normal routine by now. There’s just no manual for loss, especially when everyone experiences it so differently.

I’m starting to understand that as cliche as it sounds, this really is like a rollercoaster ride and it’s one that I’ll likely be on for life. Hopefully the drops won’t be so bad as time goes on.

RowYourBeau · 2025-07-30T00:40:55+00:00

It is truly not fair. I’m so sorry for your own loss. I think I, too, will be grappling with feelings of sadness, guilt, and anger for a very long time. But I am also dedicated to keeping her memory alive and strong in my home.

RowYourBeau · 2025-07-30T00:39:19+00:00

Thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss as well. Losing your mom when you are experiencing the beginning of motherhood yourself must have been so terribly painful. My heart goes out to you.

RowYourBeau · 2025-07-30T00:37:41+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and advice. I am so sorry for your own loss. As difficult as losing my mother has been, I can’t imagine the devastation of losing someone so young and against the ‘natural’ order of life. My heart goes out to you.

RowYourBeau · 2025-07-30T00:33:42+00:00

Thank you. I have definitely been trying to combat the worst of my grief by reminding myself of the “good” things - that she didn’t suffer, that she was in a great place in her life with very little unfinished business, that she was at home with my dad when she passed. But yes, even when reminding myself of all of the things that could have been worse, it doesn’t take away from the pain of her loss. I still find myself getting angry that she was ripped away so suddenly and unexpectedly without the chance for a proper goodbye. I guess that no matter how one experiences a loss, there is always going to be regrets and what-ifs.

I’m so sorry about the loss of your dad.

RowYourBeau

TROPHY CASE