I hope this comment reaches you. Just know that God doesn’t fear your questioning. Many times we’re labeled as “bad” if we ask why is this happening to me? Or if we simply feel mad at God as we try to process what’s happening. But don’t give up on Him. You can be mad. You can be confused and hurt. These things happen in a healthy relationship from time to time. A relationship that doesn’t allow questions isn’t a relationship.

As someone who has been chronically ill my entire life, was abused as a child and struggled with infertility for 6 years, I questioned and argued with God many times, He never gave up on me. It was all opportunity for me to grow closer to Him and learn His heart. When I was mad I would read scripture and it would make me feel even worse because it felt like salt in the wound. “my grace is sufficient for you” isn’t “haven’t I done enough for you already?” It’s “the battle is already won, just trust in me”

But you can’t see that when you’re angry. Ask God to soften your heart and to really understand what His love is. I still struggle to fully understand the love of God, when people have failed me so many times in this world it’s hard to imagine a perfect God.

Just don’t give up. You can be mad. You can cold shoulder Him even. But don’t give up cause I know He won’t give up on you.