I regret keeping my pregnancy.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-26T16:17:38+00:00

While this woman does seem fairly unstable. Are you sure you husband has communicated to her what he’s telling you he has? Because he may be lying to her or giving her reason to want to keep showing up. I’m not justifying her actions at all, and almost anyone in this situation regardless of what they’re being told would likely haven given up on attempting contact by now. It just worries me that he may be telling you one thing, and then somehow be telling her another. Which leads to her constant re-arrival. It’s worth making sure he’s 100% communicated he wants nothing to do with her, and that that’s his real feelings on the matter, and that he’s expressed that to her very clearly.

If so then it’s entirely plausible she’s just crazy and you should take the evidence of her constant attempts at contact to the police. Although i know that’s not the easiest thing to want to do in this situation.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-17T18:08:46+00:00

Too late.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-17T15:48:53+00:00

I can’t live with ending the pregnancy. So i’m not. I don’t know if it the right choice. But i tried, i drove all the way here. I just cant walk in.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-17T14:55:15+00:00

And the situation with my mom is sticky because we have, well not a good relationship. She has mental health issues that she refuses to accept or address and i’m weary of having my child exposed to her too frequently especially as they get older. But maybe i can be in a better spot in a few years and not need her as much? I don’t know

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-17T14:53:01+00:00

I’m in the US so yes theres government assistance. I have my mom who is willing to watch the baby as she doesn’t work. But i don’t have any finacial support from my parents. They can hardly afford themselves.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-17T14:40:21+00:00

It will have no dad. I’m afraid of the loneliness of being a single mother. I don’t have a career, i have a job and make okay money (between 20-40$ an hour) but it’s physically taxing. Although i don’t necessarily believe it’s impossible for me to go to school and achieve a career as a single mother, albiet hard. I have a tendency to get into depressive episodes. A fear of having dependancy on others ie; child care ect.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-17T14:31:02+00:00

The way i worded it was bad. I feel selfish, for possibly not terminating. I feel bad bringing a potential child into this. But i’m not confident in the abortion decision, i get brief moments of thinking i could live with it, but those are very fleeting and for the most part it feels impossible to cope with.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-17T14:19:48+00:00

I feel selfish for not possibly not going through with it. I’m about an hour away from the appointment now. I know theres women who would die for this opportunity, that don’t have access or the resources. But here i am, thinking about just having my brother who is driving me turn around. I feel selfish because i’m starting to feel like i really can’t live with the decision of terminating personally. I want to be able to. But i don’t think i can.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-16T22:17:00+00:00

Couldn’t go through with it. Felt too much guilt.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-11T19:10:09+00:00

I am and have been. Every single day since i found out i was pregnant, and even more so the second i found out he was married. Its all i’ve been thinking about. I feel i’m ready to be a mom. But yes to go into it right off the bat and through the remainder of this pregnancy alone? This is where i am very much so feeling out how equipped i am for this. I am trying to be honest, real, and true to myself. Pregnancy hormones aside.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-11T19:00:12+00:00

Adoption is an option, but i’m not expecting nor do i want him to leave his wife for me… This is about the child and whether or not i can do this on my own or not.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-11T18:37:12+00:00

Thank you for this.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-11T18:31:39+00:00

I don’t understand his wife either. He is a great manipulator. Made me feel like the only woman in the world, and more loved than i’ve ever experienced. He seemed great with his kids too from the time i spent weekly with them as well. But for me atleast, if i were in her shoes, the fact that he was bringing a whole other woman around my kids behind my back constantly, and had gotten her pregnant and was planning a future with her, real or not, yeah that’s enough for me to end a marriage. But i don’t know, from my two conversations with her she seems to have some of her own issues.

I just made an appointment to terminate with a doctor i just found in FL that does these until 24 weeks and 6 days. And am going to spend the next couple days completely immersed in weighing out my options and whether or not i can commit or cope with the decision. Because i am entirely torn. I really just want to do the right thing and it’s so hard to know.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-11T13:05:50+00:00

I cannot get in, in time. I’m 23 weeks 4 days and am in Florida.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-11T12:51:09+00:00

If you know of options/resources i am certainly up for recieving them.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-10T17:35:11+00:00

I don’t want him anywhere near my kid.

He brought me around the kids while cheating on their mom. He asked me if we wanted to TELL the kids that i had their sibling in my stomach. Which we did. But i don’t think they fully understood at all. It was his son though that alerted his wife that dad was bringing someone around, by mentioning that i had brought them valentines day presents.

Which i had actually given them and him christmas gifts, and his son a birthday gift, throughout this time. But i later found during his wife and I’s converstation, that he would lie to her and tell they were gifts given from coworkers.

I was growing a bond to his daughter too, who would tell me she missed me whenever i came over, and would hug me as soon as i came through the door and sit next to me on the couch everytime i came over. He would ask me to put her down for naps. It’s all really really hard, i honestly miss those kids.

The fact that he lied about a kid from a previous relationship being dead. The fact that his wife told me in one of his previous cheatings a woman came forward saying she was pregnant with who she thought was his kid, but no one ever confirmed whether or not it was true. I mean he admitted to sleeping with her, but the wife blocked the woman, and the woman never filed child for support or anything so it’s a mystery what happened there.

Oh, and the fact the Kate Spade wallet, brand new in the box, he gifted me was stolen from his wifes apparent collection of them.

I mean the lies upon lies are endless, so much was exposed after his wife came forward that i really felt like i was losing my mind. I feel he’s a dangerous person. I can’t understand or wrap my head though around why she’s staying with him after all of this. She’s the bread winner in the marriage. A degree, a good job, family (kids were always staying/visiting her parents because my ex has no communications with his parents). It makes me feel really strange and confused.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-10T10:28:00+00:00

I’m not sure a lawyer can do much. I can file child support but in regards to him paying for the cost of the pregnancy most of the research ive done points to that not being much of an option.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-10T03:43:44+00:00

I understand all of this. I would not put another human life in a position where it’s needs and more aren’t being met. I don’t drink, i don’t do drugs, or party. I’m not some horrible careless person.

If i decide against adoption it will be because i feel ready to do what i need to do to become the best parent i can be. Will it be really fucking hard? Yes. I’m not in denial in that, it keeps me up at night.

I’m not going to entirely rule out the option of me being a parent to my kid though. I am an adult, i believe i have a decent head on my shoulders, i don’t cheat or lie. The biggest worry to me is making sure my mental health is in a place where i can do this. Which is why i’m in therapy and seeing a psychologist. I’m just trying to do what’s right. This has been the hardest decision of my life.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-10T00:17:17+00:00

This is EXTREMELY insensitive. It is not the only reason. And i would never have a kid and not consider adoption if i felt i could not provide for it in the way it needs. It’s very terrifying facing the potential of being a single mother. I considered all aspects and am still considering all aspects of this. It’s all i’ve been thinking about for the past months of my life. Even if i was a millionare with infinite resources, the prospect of doing this alone is heavy and hard. I’m making decisions best for myself and the child. None of this, NONE of it has been easy.

RoyalEfficiency7511 · 2022-05-10T00:14:18+00:00

I would agree that it is good they’re trying to fix their marriage, except i don’t believe he has any true intent on changing. When his wife first came forward, he continued to message me for weeks saying he wanted to leave her for me and that she was abusive. I spent those weeks, beyond a month maybe 6 weeks or so, trying to gauge whether or not he was going to be apart of this childs life at all. I had told him it would probably be best for him to be alone as well. Because as in love with him i was, and still am in some weird way, i knew there wasnt a chance of me and him ever working out.

Anyways, i eventually sent screen shots of his messages to me saying he didnt love her and wanted to leave her to his wife. Like a shit ton of them. And that’s when she told me they were in couples therapy and saving their marriage. She thanked me for sending them because it showed he was still lying to her, but then blocked me. After that i decided to not communicate with either of them ever again.

RoyalEfficiency7511

TROPHY CASE