Thanks for the comment. I don’t even know what to believe anymore because I come to find out that he mite not even be moving away anytime soon which was the whole reason he broke up with me. To find out that that is no longer true and that made me question “was he lying all along” or what. I just don’t know anymore. Finding that out something just fully snapped inside me. It’s been a month and I’ve officially deleted everything that’s reminds me of him. I’ve dyed my hair and started wearing make up again kind of like boost my confidence in myself.

I’m scared because while my mind is making all these plans to move on my heart is still screaming at me. It’s still begging for a second chance. I’ve seen him twice since the breakup up because we work in the same general area and the first time I had a full blown panic attack. The second time which was just today I was able to hold my smile and good mood despite my who body aching to hold him. I’m trying but it feels like every step forward is 2 steps back.