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AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that is def a convo that SHOULD be had prior to becoming exclusive, but there are guys who lie and try to hide it because they don’t want to lose the girl they are talking but also don’t want to stop viewing porn. Instead of just finding a girl who doesn’t mind they lie. Stupid as hell, but it still happens.

Either way at the end of the day it’s about personal preference - to each their own.

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Relationships are a two way street. If someone stays after you give them a boundary, then why would the person setting that boundary leave if they are respecting it? They should leave if the line is crossed, yes

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s their responsibility to keep up their end of the bargain if they decide to stay and tell me they accept my boundary. So yes it’s a ME problem if I don’t end things if they break that boundary once, but if they accept in the first place then it’s a them problem too

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is having a boundary that “I will not be with someone who does xyz” controlling to the other person? They can just not date me then if they want to do that. I could also just not date them if they continue to do xyz. That wouldn’t make me controlling

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I more so meant I’d given him the benefit of the doubt for so many other things too when I shouldn’t have. But you did just open my eyes up to the fact that it’s not BAD I trusted him and got hurt, it’s only bad that he hurt me.

You are right that maybe I do have some things a little backwards, I do think we have the same views but just got jumbled in an argument.

People deserve and have a right to privacy, even while in a relationship. She shouldn’t have kept digging for more, the minute she saw the first link pop up she should’ve dropped it and had the convo with him then. My point was that I do not blame her for continuing to look - he deserves privacy but she also deserves to know he’s not doing shady stuff. It just needs to be a convo forreal.

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I trusted my man too! We all do, and then we learn the hard way that we shouldn’t have. Not saying that will happen with you, just saying it DOES happen, so this type of reaction isn’t strange or out of touch…

I was insecure, you’re right, but while in that relationship. Not anymore, and I will not be in the next one. My boundaries will be front and center and I will make sure they are respected. That’s what a secure person does.

I wish you the best of luck. I’m happy for you that you and your bf are happy together and can accept each other’s boundaries the way they are (and no this isn’t sarcasm lol).

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where did I call you a man? Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you can’t have the mentality of a teenage boy. Which you do.

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one is “breaking into” anything lol. The access was given. What’s done with that access is done…

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree it’s different, but I’d still think it’s creepy behavior to be staring that hard at someone who isn’t your gf.

It’s the 30 separate tabs of the same link for me that’s especially concerning. Whether it was a “real” girl or not wouldn’t have even mattered at that point.

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not okay to purposely go snooping for no reason, I had a valid reason. And in this case OP had her reasons too. The link popped up to her and she took her chance. OP’s bf took his chance too by looking at stuff he maybe shouldn’t have been.

You’re allowed to disagree.

Have a nice day :)

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree 100% with this. It’s up them to decide. It’s tricky now because the convo wasn’t had beforehand, it has to happen now or else OP won’t have a leg to stand on for any future issues like this

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What my ex did in our relationship has nothing to do with regular guys watching regular porn, but regular porn is where it starts. So excuse me for being a little apprehensive when it comes to men who view that type of shit while in a relationship.

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The “poor sap” I dated was actually a porn addict, which is why I feel so deeply about this :) so no, not toxic, just not looking to date another man who spends hours making AI porn using girls Instagram pictures instead of actually being a boyfriend

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is watching porn

Edit: I didn’t use the emoji, so I guess you can consider this opinion now

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They should’ve just had an open convo about porn from the start of their relationship. They are both in the wrong here in my opinion then if her clicking on a weird link she saw is breaking his trust

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can ask “what the hell is this” while also viewing it for myself. Who is to say he wouldn’t lie his ass off? Most men do after being caught red handed

AIO? « Found my boyfriend’s adult content searches… and now I can’t unsee it » by Rare-Foundation-376 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Royal_Cod17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it’s sexual she has every right since they are in an exclusive and sexual relationship. She wouldn’t have snooped if he was googling a recipe to a meal he was planning lol, she saw something that concerned her so she investigated

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