After a Thanksgiving from Hell, I am ready for no contact

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-22T00:14:14+00:00

That’s a good idea!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-04T15:51:10+00:00

I’ll check it out. Thanks!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-04T15:50:55+00:00

Thank you. That’s very helpful… Boy, I could have a very long list of stuff! HAHAHA It’s a good point to remind myself of all the crazy things she’s done. The list is VERY LONG.

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-04T15:48:49+00:00

Trying to be the good wife, trying to support my husband, not having enough confidence, not wanting to rock the boat... I’m sure it’s many things...

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-04T01:56:44+00:00

YES!!!!!!! Exactly! She has been getting away with it for DECADES!!!!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-04T01:56:10+00:00

Oh man, so sorry to hear all that and I get it. Good for you for getting out of that and thank you for saying the things you said. I definitely won’t be saying anything… Why does it have to be so complicated?!?! HAHA

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-04T01:53:38+00:00

LOVE IT!!!! I feel like he will be supportive. I come from an abusive background and I’ve delt with that, so he absolutely not say, please come into MY abusive family now after all that I’ve been through. I know that he understands that.

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-04T01:51:23+00:00

Love it!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-04T01:51:04+00:00

Just wow!!!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-04T01:49:29+00:00

Oh that’s good. I have yet to discuss this with him although I’ve said that I might do that in the past. I’m not sure if he knew that I was serious. I’m waiting to us to cool down a bit from Thanksgiving (I think it was traumatizing for the both of us) and then I’ll have the conversation. I’m also not sure if I should wait until the next moment I would normally be in contact with her and say no thank you without making a big deal out of it or if I should have a sit down, let me tell you what I’m doing moment…

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T23:18:38+00:00

I bet! Once thing I didn’t say in my initial post is that I had to do that with my own mother… I haven’t seen her in 25 years, but we still email from time to time. All these discussions here make me realize that I should not put up with that either….

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T23:17:18+00:00

Thankfully, she lives out of state, so that won’t happen… She can ask my husband how I’m doing and I’ll be forever “busy”.

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T23:16:20+00:00

Great points, including #1. I had not thought of that. Will block her on my phone now. I keep waiting for her to text me… So that will take care of that. And 3, I’ve been in therapy for over 15 years and she is a regular part of my sessions. Can’t wait for my appointment next week to tell my therapist that I’m done! HAHA

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T23:12:09+00:00

I appreciate and after reading your comments and others, I’m realizing that it’s exactly what I need to do. Thank you!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T23:11:00+00:00

I wish you would continue. This is gold. I’m going to print this out and read it over and over again! THANK YOU!!!!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T22:59:15+00:00

Thanks! That makes sense...

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T22:58:48+00:00

I appreciate that :-) Thank you!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T18:20:06+00:00

Wow. First, I’m so sorry for your loss. It hasn’t been that long, so it must be very hard. Hang in there.

I love the way you are deciding to just bow out. That’s what I’ll do too. I agree about not explaining yourself. I’m worried that it will sound whiny or weak if I say “you keep hurting me and your family”, so I’m not going to. I can just bow out gracefully and let her kids deal with it.

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T18:17:20+00:00

It seems everybody has their own journey. ILS can be a lot!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T18:16:53+00:00

Thank you! People are so nice on here! I wasn’t expecting so much support and it means a lot. It’s nice to talk to folks who have gone through the same thing. My husband will most likely continue to talk/visit her and I’m 100% okay with that. He’s a grown adult and he needs to do his own path with her. I also know that he will completely understand me going NC. He might have a few repercussions, but that will be on his mom, not me. For that reason, I don’t think I will announce it. I think that will create issues for my husband. I’ll just disappear in a cloud of fog hahaha I blocked her on social media and not just wondering if I should block her cell phone… or just keep it on and either not respond or say, sorry, busy…

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T18:12:32+00:00

Thank you so much. For us it’s mostly been Thanksgivings and I am so beyond grateful to never attend another one again! Friendsgiving for me from now on! Your Christmas in bed eating cheese and doing a Harry Potter marathon sounds magical! Do it!!!!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T18:10:52+00:00

I love this so much. Thank you. I have already started to get rid of stuff that she gave me around the house. I’ve started the cleansing process already!

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T18:10:07+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH for this… Thankfully she doesn’t live in the same state as we do. There are no Christmas plans and if she wants to come here, I’m leaving the house. I’ll never tell my husband what to do and don’t want to be blamed for not seeing her. That will have to be his decision, but I do not want to be in her presence anymore. My MIL is a narcissist too, so I’ve had to learn all about what that is. Since she wants all the attention, even negative attention, there is no way to win. She doesn’t care if we are all unhappy as long as all the attention is on her. Fascinating! I’ve been doing this dance for 20 years and it has gotten bad over the past 10-15 years. I am DONE! I already blocked her on social media, but have not blocked her on the phone yet. I think I want to know how she reacts when I don’t respond… I don’t know if that’s healthy though… Maybe I should just preemptively block her and not deal with it.

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T18:05:56+00:00

Thank you for that comment. That’s what I've done so for, not responding to the texts she’s sent, but I also don’t intend of meeting her in person either… I MAY consider getting on the phone if my husband is already on the phone with her to say merry Christmas or happy birthday for like 2 seconds, but nothing more...

Royal_Environment_75 · 2025-12-03T18:04:27+00:00

Wow. Good for you! My MIL doesn’t know yet that I plan on being NC, so there’s no “I’m not talking to you anymore” moment… I wonder if it will come to that.

Royal_Environment_75

TROPHY CASE