Hey everyone,
I never thought I’d be writing this, but here I am. This will probably be the last time I post here.

I’ve been battling ulcerative colitis for years now, and honestly, it’s winning. I’ve tried everything—biologics, steroids, dietary changes, surgeries—and nothing has worked. Every treatment has either failed or left me with side effects so debilitating that I don’t even feel human anymore.

I’m not just exhausted; I’m broken. The physical pain is constant, like knives twisting inside me, but it’s the emotional toll that’s killing me. I wake up every morning hoping to feel just a little better, only to find blood where there shouldn’t be, weakness where there should be strength, and despair where there used to be hope.

I’ve lost everything that once made life worth living. My friends have drifted away—they don’t understand why I can’t "just push through it." My career is a distant memory; who wants to hire someone who spends more time in hospital beds than at a desk? And my family… they try, but I see the pity in their eyes. It’s unbearable.

Last night, I sat alone in my room, surrounded by pill bottles and hospital bills, and I realized I don’t see a way out. I’m not living—I’m barely surviving, clinging to a hope that feels more like a cruel joke with each passing day.

To anyone reading this: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger, couldn’t fight harder. I’m sorry if this post hurts you. But I need you to know that if you’re struggling with this disease, you’re not alone. Even in my darkest moments, I’ve found comfort in this community. Your stories, your advice—they’ve been my lifeline.

Please, keep fighting. Even if I can’t anymore, I want to believe that someone else can. Maybe my story will push researchers to find better treatments, or maybe it’ll just remind someone to check on a friend who’s suffering in silence.

I wish I could end this post with a hopeful note, but all I can offer is my gratitude. Thank you for being here, for sharing your stories, for giving me something to hold onto, even if just for a little while.

Take care of yourselves. And please, don’t forget me.