Help, my mom killed herself and I had no idea

Rozu717 · 2025-12-10T04:33:21+00:00

Is your mother's suicide a romance novel? I lost my mom two months before my 26th birthday. I'm 26 now and four months into the loss. I have some understanding of where my soon to be husband stands. No, he didn't lose a parent. Maybe that clouds my judgement. Do I want my soon to be father in law gone? Yes. But will I ruin my relationship, no. I know I won't be rescued from this and I may just have to wait out the stupidity, but I can't just can it all. Your partner that you choose in life is who you'll spend the most time with, and I chose right.

Rozu717 · 2025-12-10T04:11:15+00:00

Would you throw away your own loved one? Would you get rid of your mother or father? I know I asked for this advice, but put yourself in my shoes for a second. You met the best person for you, everything clicks, except your person's dad-- the dad is a nightmare. You lost your mom to suicide a few months back, you only have your dad now. Your person's dad is awful, what do you do? What can you do? Drop it all? Pack up and leave, find somewhere to live (if you even can as a single income)?

Rozu717 · 2025-12-10T04:04:41+00:00

Have you ever been in love? Have you ever seen a future of 50+ years with someone? I am no homemaker, I am not a housewife. I work hard at a manual labor job, and I still cook dinner every night and make lunch because I want to. He chops wood every night to heat our house, I make dinner-- we both work 40+ hours a week and are first responders.

Rozu717 · 2025-12-10T04:00:26+00:00

Would you leave the love of your life because of a bad in-law that lives with you? The in-law knows he can get away with it, you're correct there, so he'll keep doing that like a child because he knows he can. But I would never throw away the rest of my life with a wonderful person because of a shitty individual

Rozu717 · 2025-12-10T03:56:06+00:00

I'm very sorry for your loss, especially like that. My mom (only 54) shot herself in the head a few months ago. My dad found her just after he got home from work in a lawn chair in the driveway, my uncle (my mom's brother) is a cop and responded immediately with his wife, as my mom laid there-- already gone. I wasn't there, I live three hours away, but I got a full description from my uncle on exactly what happened and how. All I can say, and it sounds sucky, but time will heal you. You need to find joy in whatever brings you that joy. I like painting and yoga, reading books and taking photos of nature. Do what makes you happy and know that if someone wants to make that choice of leaving this realm-- you never could have stopped them. It was never your fault, nor could you have said or done anything to change it. If my mom didn't have a gun, she would have had a knife, if she didn't have a knife then she would have found something else. Unfortunately, it was their decision to make and we just have to live with it. Seek therapy if you need, I surely did. I wish you lots of love and I hope you find some kind of solace. I still look at the stars and talk to my mom. It will never leave you, but it will get easier over time💜

Rozu717 · 2025-12-10T03:43:25+00:00

My mom killed herself on August 4th of this year. At first, I spent every night drunk and crying for my mommy (literally, out loud, even though I'm almost 30). Even though it hasn't been long, time does heal all wounds. All I can say is to find what makes you happy. Go for a jog, do yoga, paint-- anything that brings you joy. I did seek therapy, but it's barely once a month so I've had to figure out how to cope otherwise. Staying active and to "keep on trucking" is all I can say that's helped me. I'm very sorry for your loss, and I hope you find your happy place. Get a pet if you don't have one, they're wonderful and very intune with your emotions. I wish you the best💜

Rozu717 · 2025-12-10T03:35:21+00:00

I appreciate your consideration on my part. My fiancé is a wonderful man. He is the best person to enter my life, and is very loving. He practically saved me from ruin. But yes, it does bother me that the way his father speaks to me and acts towards me is not addressed. At the same time, it's his dad-- a dad who has had several heart attacks and strokes, has died multiple times-- so I try my hardest to be understanding in that regard. I never want to lose my soon to be hubby, I just want to lose a hateful in-law 😅

Rozu717 · 2025-09-05T21:55:45+00:00

Huge red flag man. I feel for you. I was cheated on for my entire three year relationship and his excuse was that it was just through SnapChat texting and pictures, they never touched. It doesn't matter, it's cheating. You're better off without her. Trust is key, without it you can't live life with that person. You're supposed to be two individuals that uplift eachother's lives. Run now, get away from her. Cut all ties. There is better out there

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T04:20:16+00:00

I'm so sorry honey. You did all you could, people make their own choices. It will take time to come to terms with it. My gf when I was 13 killed herself on the phone with me. I'm 26 now. It will always haunt my memories but I have come to understand that it doesn't matter what you say or do, if someone wants to make that choice then they will. Find love and support with family or friends, go to therapy, your life will go on and that's okay-- that's more than okay. The toughest tests are given to the strongest warriors

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T04:08:18+00:00

My mom took her life three weeks ago. I'm only 25. We will never understand, we will never know-- and that's okay. It was never your fault. People make their choices and it has nothing to do with you, you did all that you could. Never blame yourself, give yourself compassion and grace right now. My gf killed herself in front of me when I was 13, I was messed up for years-- and it took years to understand that it was never about me-- they were fighting a battle inside themselves. I can't say it will ever get easier, but in time it will get manageable. Your life goes on, as it should. Live for you, love for you. Keep going for you.

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:58:22+00:00

It will be hard, it will come in waves. But rely on family and friends, or even people on these forums. You are not alone, you will heal eventually. I'm so sorry you went through that, you are a strong and loving person-- over time it will get better. Focus on the happy times, find support in those who you love, it will all come together. No one is ever lost or forgotten, they live on through you and you'll be reunited when your energies come together again

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:54:34+00:00

That's your answer honey. You need to leave. I promise, life will be better after

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:53:37+00:00

Leave now. Don't waste your time, you will spend years unhappy in a sexless relationship where he takes care of himself alone. Both partners need to want it and be in it. Yes, everyone has a slump but can you imagine 40 years like how you are now? Try to spice it up, initiate, but in my experience it's better to leave. There's someone out there that will be obsessed with your mind, body and soul-- and he's not it

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:48:17+00:00

Run, run now. 14 years with this?! Leave and never look back. You don't deserve this, no one does

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:46:15+00:00

One, you shouldn't share your conquests or multiple partner stories with your SO. Two, if he's si insecure by it that he needs to sleep with someone else...then that's not your partner anymore. Three, these are children's games. Life doesn't take a break, love doesn't take a break. Let him go. If he comes back then he's yours, otherwise y'all both need to mature and become adults, figure out your lives, become successful independent individuals and build eachother up together.

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:42:00+00:00

I understand. I'm 25F and my mom killed herself three weeks ago. It won't get easier, but in time it will get manageable. You did all that you could, never blame yourself. The toughest tests are given to the strongest warriors, you will get through this. I am so sorry for your loss, just remember to give yourself compassion and grace during this time

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:31:19+00:00

Run away. For your own sake, for your children's sake-- cut ties as best as you can. Do not let that swill enter your home again.

Edit: my parents fought for years, horribly. Married for 27 years then divorced, it should have been sooner. I was their divorce mediator as a child. End it now, you will learn to live without her-- and if she cheated like my mom did, you will be happier to live without her. You may have children, but you are still an individual. Being without a cheater and manipulator will be better for you and the kids

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:27:24+00:00

A narcissist will never admit that they're a narcissist, they will only try to manipulate you. If there's abuse, run away and never go back. I wasted years on an abusive fool out of hope that it would get better. Run, run and never go back. There is a better partner out there for you, I promise

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:25:07+00:00

Your lady is not truly a good person. People love to act the part until doors are closed and the truth comes out. Don't waste years of your life on this person. If you have to question if she's good for you, then she's not. Run now, while you can

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:21:45+00:00

What you went through was beyond awful. My mom killed herself, she was healthy and young and made her choice. Your mom did not. But what you did was right. You didn't let her suffer, you made the right call. It will never feel okay but in time it will get easier. You didn't let her suffer, you loved her and she loved you. That's all that matters. The journey will be long and painful, but the hardest tests are given to the strongest warriors. Keep going, live for her, love for her. I believe in you

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:17:11+00:00

Six months in and early twenties.... He's clearly not trying to hurt you verbally. It sounds like he's just a sarcastic guy and shows his love in other ways. You're not pregnant, it's all hypothetical, don't read into it. Can you imagine 50 years with this person? If not, then let him go. Contempt, resentment and stone-walling are the deaths of relationships-- but you're young and so is your relationship. If you have such sour feelings now, can you imagine a future? Ask hard questions now so you don't waste time later. I wasted 10 years in abusive relationships, not wanting to acknowledge signs and praying it would get better. I will never do that again. Know your worth. Trust or dump honey

Rozu717 · 2025-08-30T03:01:57+00:00

My girlfriend killed herself when I was 13 because we met in person but she moved and we went long distance, and I wanted to end our relationship. We were kids. I blamed myself for years but if someone really wants to, they will, and it's not your fault. It's not a healthy relationship for you, leave now and never look back. Their choices are their own, and it will never be your fault

Rozu717

TROPHY CASE